Nine rehires sacked stars

buddy tThe Nine Network is developing what it describes as “a brand new, original, innovative, and entertaining program concept” to be hosted by two of its former stars recently sacked for making racist and derogatory public statements.

Head of new programming at the Nine Network, Geulph Arnott, said Senator Pauline Hanson and former AFL Footy Show panelist Sam Newman (main picture) had been re-engaged to front the new show.

“We don’t want to see Pauline’s and Sam’s talents go to waste, especially when we know they have proved to be so popular in the past with our viewers,” Mr Arnott (pictured) said.

411full“Plus right now we need to focus on programs that will attract advertisers and generate revenue for the network in these financially challenging times.

“We believe that both Pauline and Sam have paid a penalty for their recent statement by being sacked, and should now be free to rejoin Nine.

“Like most commercial TV programmers I have always played by the three-Rs rule. Pauline and Sam epitomise the rule because their provocative views on issues like race relations and their willingness to say things that may not be ‘politically correct’ mean they always attracts viewers and lots of publicity for the network.

“That translates to high ratings, and that in turn means we can sell more advertising which means more revenue for us.

“Basically the three-Rs rule is: racism equals ratings equals revenue. It’s been a golden rule for decades in commercial TV.

“So we’ve been looking for a new vehicle for Pauline and Sam where they can let rip at defenceless minorities, especially immigrants, and people of colour.

“We’re planning a new program that will be a mix of previous popular favourites including Family Feud, The Price Is Right, and Wheel of Fortune.

“It’s all a bit hush-hush right now, but I can reveal the name of the new program will be The Family Feud Price Is Right Wheel of Fortune.

“At this stage I think I should clarify that when I said it would be a ‘brand new, original, innovative, and entertaining’ program I was, of course, speaking in Australian commercial TV terms. Just wanted to clear that up,” Mr Arnott said.