Odd Lang sighs for regime change


Okay, everybody, let’s hold those protest signs high and, please, chant along with me!

Who wants to see an end to the Palaszczuk government!
Kylie Lang does.
When does she want it?
Preferably now but Saturday October 31 will do.

or how about…

The Polish Princess,
Is bound to be defeated.

Let’s have some more chanting later, maybe, but Ms Lang’s desire to see Queensland rid of that dreadful woman and her Labor government is clear from the final two pars to her piece in The Courier-Mail last Saturday:

Queenslanders are fed up with mixed messages from a government that is crushing business and bleeding our state dry.

October 31 can’t come quickly enough.

The LNP Queensland’s head office could not have said it better.

Lang begins her piece by expressing her concern that the Black Lives Matter rally planned for Brisbane that day could spark a second wave of the deadly coronavirus. Fair enough too; few would argue that the wave of BLM rallies around the world might be timely for millions but badly timed during a pandemic.

And it’s why Lang accuses the Premier Palaszczuk of all sorts of heinous crimes for not taking steps to ban the rally.

Lang called for mass arrests and fines. And if she doesn’t think that would have come with much violence and possible bloodshed given the passion the killing of George Floyd has unleashed around the globe, she’s quite possibly as stupid as she is rabidly rightwing.

Here are some of Lang’s views expressed in the column.

The Premier’s hypocrisy could not be worse because “she refuses to open borders but won’t shut down a mass rally”.

To undo all the hard work defeating COVID-19 “we Queenslanders have done” (and yes, you can almost sense Lang’s typing fingers desperately wanting to add “regardless of Annastacia Palaszczuk’s dithering and obstruction) is criminal”.

The best Palaszczuk could do was say she “hoped” protesters would “respect the health advice”.

Lang slammed the police for saying there would be no mass arrests because it “just isn’t practical”.

Lang fumed: Impractical or inconvenient?

She pointed out that “a gutsy appeal by premier Gladys Berejiklian to make the [Sydney] protest illegal” had led to a NSW Supreme Court ruling today’s Black Lives Matter rally would violate public health orders.

Lang didn’t see much news value in adding that the appeal court had overuled that decision and the Sydney rally was legal. To do that would have seriously weakened her attack on Palaszczuk.

More Langese: Yet in silly old Queensland – already a laughing stock because of belligerent border closures amid a crippled economy – our leaders are sitting on the fence.

Could someone push them off, and bring in some real leadership?

Anyone in Bugland got an idea who she might be referring to? Some potential state leader, the Freckle of whom Kylie clearly thinks the sun shines brightly out of. You’ve got to love two sentences in a row ending in a preposition, just for emphasis.

If you believe that the general thrust of Lang’s piece would have been the same if the LNP were in power and Premier Deb Frecklington was facing reelection in just under five months’ time, strap yourself in for what Lang and other propaganda writers at the Courier – and Sunday – Mails will be up to over the next few months to ensure reputable, balanced journalism is finally dead, buried and cremated up at Bowen Hills?

Lang last weekend would have been lauding the LNP Premier for having the good sense to realise that the BLM rally was going to go ahead regardless of what she did or said.

Premier Frecklington, God bless her cute cotton socks,  would have done everything she could to minimise the possibility of the rally creating a COVID-19 upsurge.

Lang would have opined. “The Premier begged those at the rally to keep their social distancing. She was not to know that instead of “thousands” predicted to attend, it would be 30,000!”

Police would have been congratulated for keeping the lid on the potentially explosive rally.  “To see coppers handing out face masks instead of pepper spray was a masterstroke of sound community relations,” Lang would have written.

Back to reality now. She remained at her one-eyed best – made me look calm and collected – the next day in the Sunday Mail where she clearly asserted that all 30,000 people at the Brisbane rally were largely unmasked and were chanting “Fuck the pigs”.

Here’s her opening salvo:

SHOULDER to shoulder they stood, about 30,000 of them, putting all lives at risk as they protested to save black ones.

Brisbane’s King George Square looked like cluster central yesterday as a swelling crowd defied COVID-19 social distancing and demanded an end to police brutality against people of colour.

Chanting “f— the pigs” through mostly unmasked faces, they couldn’t have cared less about a second wave, and made a mockery of Queensland’s excellent work in mitigating the spread of the virus.

If all 30,000 at that rally were largely unmasked and chanting “Fuck the Pigs”, all staff at The Bug will donate their annual salaries to charity.

As on the previous day, Lang banged on relentlessly about the unfairness of it all: decent, law-abiding Queenslanders still faced with restrictions on numbers allowed in their own homes, in restaurants, parks, gyms or galleries, etc, when they’re out and about, while the BLM protesters could do as they pleased and couldn’t have cared less about putting everyone’s lives at risk.

Lang remains totally incapable of differentiating between things that can be contained and things that can’t.

Lang also apparently did not see the picture of the enormous crowd pulsating through those North Sydney markets on Saturday, or heard about the big crowds as usual at Bunnings and all those Aldi shoppers crammed in like sardines as they fought over the ridiculously priced dairy farm cream separators from Denmark in the bargain bins.

Lang writes: “Instead, a limp Palaszczuk Government let it proceed, the Premier saying beforehand that she “hoped people would respect the health advice”. Ha!

You’ve got to love that “Ha!” Imagine Lang doing that with the same passion as Villanelle in Killing Eve! Ha! indeed.

What we are reading from Lang and some of the other LNP propagandists up at Bowen Hills is the longest application in history for a future editorship at a Newcorpse metropolitan daily, if they still exist when Lang and her workmates finally tire of being LNP PR hacks.

In the meantime, the likes of Lang, Houghton, Wardill, Gleeson and until recently Viellaris almost make me ashamed of the six years I spent at The Courier-Mail and Sunday Mail.

I can take some comfort, though, in the fact that at least they were still newspapers back then.