Hunt’s colleagues come up short

FEDERAL POLITICS:

Greg Hunt has been voted the least-worst minister in the Morrison government.

The prestigious title was awarded to the Health Minister overnight by a judging panel of some of the nation’s top political scribes and commentators and Peter Van Onselen.

The journalists had struck the award to mark the first anniversary of the re-election of the Morrison government just over a year ago and the presentation ceremony took place at a Chinese restaurant not far from Parliament House in Canberra.

Accepting the award, the minister (pictured above) joked.“Who would have thought that me of all people would ever stand head and shoulders above my ministerial colleagues?”

“Thank you! Thank you. You’re all being so very kind.

“But seriously, unlike me, this is no small honour,” a self-effacing Mr Hunt told the creme de la creme of the nation’s political writers and columnists at the award ceremony. Peter Van Onselen was also present.

“I’m generally overlooked for things like this; for anything really,” an emotional Mr Hunt said.

“I didn’t even think I was in the frame for it, much like any group photo I’m ever trying to be in.

“Oh, stop it! You’re too kind, really.

“I really would like to thank my mother at this stage. All through my childhood she told me to always aim high, especially if I ever wanted to reach a slice of cake on a kitchen bench.

“I kinda heard I had been short-listed for the award,” Mr Hunt confessed, “after the judges ruled that any minister who had deliberately misled parliament over the past year was ineligible for this fine award.”

“Maybe I was the only candidate! A short list of one!”

Mr Hunt gave those present some idea of how he had come to be so honoured.

“To be the least-worst minister even in a government of this one’s standing, you’ve got to keep on top of things even though that might seem totally impossible in my case.

“It’s important to stay alert, to keep on top of your brief and, in my case, my briefs are probably the only things I’m ever going to be on top of if you get my drift, and to move quickly when required so that no-one stands on you, accidentally or otherwise.”

After the minister accepted his prize of a plastic trophy from a nearby Dollars and Sense variety store and a $5 Crosswords scratchie, the after-party went well into the night with Mr Hunt confessing at one stage: “I’d love to shout you all a drink for so honouring me but I’m a little short right now.”