RNA offers DIY Ekka

COVID-19 IMPACTS:

Organisers of Brisbane’s annual agricultural exhibition — the Queensland Royal Show better known as the Ekka — have announced a do-it-yourself kit for show-goers disappointed by the cancellation of this year’s event which had been scheduled to run from 6-18 August.

“We have developed a mobile DIY Ekka kit (main picture) which replicates the main sensation of attending the Ekka in person,” a spokesperson for the Royal National Agricultural and Industrial Association of Queensland (RNA) said.

“Families can assemble and use the kit anywhere in the comfort of their own home while still adhering to the current social isolation rules imposed by the government.

“You just need to contact the RNA and buy a DIY Ekka kit. We’ll deliver it in early August, and you’ll be able to enjoy the same sensation as you would at the real live show.

“All you need to do is assemble the Ekka kit and download the RNA’s app and make sure you have enough of the right type of fuel to power several ‘visits’. We recommend banknotes, preferably $100 bills.”

“You can then buy online, for the right amount of course, virtual representations of:

  • Enough Dagwood dogs with a distinct and worrying green tinge for the whole family;
  • Cow pats to tread in that are so realistic and fresh you can almost feel the heat in them;
  • A tray of strawberry sundaes that now only each weight about a half of what they did decades ago and no longer taste anything like the strawberries of old; and
  • Dozens of showbags containing cheap Chinese shit that the kids will have broken or gotten bored with in about an hour or so.

Meanwhile, consumer group Choice says its analysis shows that the 2020 Brisbane Exhibition will be the best-value show ever staged by the RNA in its 143–year history.

A Choice spokesperson said: “Previously the 1919 and 1942 shows had been judged as offering the best value at the time.

“But our analysis which factors in inflation clearly shows this year’s RNA Show will offer the best value of all time.”