Bunnings to close for good

anews in brief dinkus

SYDNEY: Major hardware and gardening supplies chain Bunnings Warehouses Australia has warned that Covid-19 has taught Australia it must never, again, reply for its survival on overseas goods, especially shoddy imported products from China.

The chain’s managing director Sel Morcrap made this startling observation in a moving video address to the store’s 12,000 loyal staff members overnight.

“Australia’s future security, prosperity and independence in an increasingly globalised world demands on all of us that we produce much more of the goods we need,” Mr Morcrap said, his voice unsteady at times. “It’s time for some unbridled patriotism.”

His comments followed media reports that Australian citizens of Chinese background had sent tonnes of high-quality Australian-made masks, gloves and other protective medical equipment to help fight coronavirus at its epicentre, and Australia in return had received inferior products from China when the demand for them soared here.

Mr Morcrap said Bunnings management had come to the view that its outlet stores needed to be filled with far more Australian-made product over “shitty Chinese garden tools that fall apart or their wooden handles curved into a circle within months of purchase”.

“And seeing Australia doesn’t make most of the stuff we sell any more apart from some gardening manures and locally grown shrubs, we think it’s best that the store’s hundreds of outlets across the nation should close permanently later this week.”


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SYDNEY: Polling has revealed overwhelming support among sports fans for a proposal to establish a geographically isolated, self-contained location for all of Australia’s NRL teams.

The idea had been floated as a potential response to the current coronavirus emergency.

A spokeprson for the YouGov polling company said phone polling and interviews replicating focus groups being used during the COVID-19 crisis had revealed overwhelming community backing for the idea.

He said YouGov’s research had revealed 98% support for the NRL “bubble” idea with three consistent reasons being given.

“Basically respondents say they are sick of hearing the NRL whinge about the impact of the virus; every other sport has taken it on the chin and pulled their heads in; and at least if the NRL teams were isolated we wouldn’t have to listen to them moan,” the spokesperson explained.