New face to virus panic buying

NEWSFLASH:

SYDNEY: Supermarkets and major retail stores throughout the nation have run out of stocks of niqabs and burkas after a spate of apparent panic buying, the Retail Association of Australia is reporting.

The rush on the items follows advice from the World Health Organisation in Geneva that Muslim women worldwide who use the extreme face coverings for religious reasons or in very rare cases because they are butt ugly both in body and mind (pictured below right) are rarely infected with Coronavirus.

The Bug‘s resident health specialist Doctor Pratt commented: “While no-one condones panic buying that deprives people in legitimate need of vital products such as these, at least a run on burkas and niqabs makes sense as a respiratory protection measure, unlike the hoarding of toilet paper where people have simply got things arse about.”

pauline hanson in a burqa

Relevant state and federal authorities and Karl Stefanoic have all called for calm, pointing out that niqab and burka factories in at least three states and one territory have put on extra shifts and are working 24/7 to get supermarket shelves restocked as quickly as possible.