Oh, crap! Hoarders have the last laugh

anews in brief dinkus

NEW YORK, USA: If you are among those who have called people who have stockpiled toilet paper brainless morons that make Pauline Hanson look and sound like a genius, you may need to think again.

Financial experts here believe that toilet paper has now become so scarce that those who have hoarded “mountains” of the essential household commodity now have a fortune on their hands.

“Toilet rolls are fast becoming the world’s latest payment network fad,” one expert said.

“As a craptocurrency, it’s already been dubbed shitcoin.”

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Louvre sans papier hygiénique

PARIS, France: The world’s largest art gallery, The Louvre, has been forced to close after all of its public toilets were stripped bare of toilet paper.

The gallery administrators are blaming stupid Australian tourists panicked by the spread of coronavirus for the outrage.

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Saudis stay a head of virus spread

GENEVA, Switzerland: The World Health Organisation has praised Saudi Arabia for its prompt and decisive action in dealing with the coronavirus spread in the Middle Eastern country.

The WHO released photographs of endless queues of coughing Saudis shuffling quietly and compliantly towards Riyadh’s chop-chop square.