Our only hope: a Scott-free Australia


Scott Morrison, for Australia’s sake, resign.

Australia is broken, both politically and climatically, and your departure is needed before Australians who actually care about this country can start putting it back together again. If it’s not too late, that is.

Australia urgently needs a real leader who wants to find human solutions to our nation’s problems, not a God botherer who believes the Rapture is coming and that he will survive it.

Our once-lucky country can recover from the current bushfire disasters. It will take a long time but historic villages will be rebuilt and shattered citizens will draw on community spirit and their own remarkable resolve to rebuild their homes, sheds and fences.

This nation’s wildlife hopefully will recover and the smoke will clear from our cities. If and when the drought ends, our farmers and graziers will replant and restock.

But understand this, Scottie from Marketing, all of this will only be done without you.

And done is definitely the key word.

Australia is done with your marketing bullshit.

It’s done with your New Year’s Message that deliberately emphasised dry lightning strikes as if that’s the main explanation for the scale of this current fire season, both in ferocity and duration.

It’s done with your almost childish refusal to use the words “climate change”.

It’s done with your flim-flam spin that our nation has always battled bushfires, always will and will come out the other side stronger than ever before.

It’s done with your tin ear for politics, as evidenced in the timing of your Hawaiian holiday and your risible rubbish from Kirrabilli that watching a bit of Test cricket will cheer us up after all the deaths and destruction around the nation. It’s the Kiwis, for fuck’s sake.

It’s done with the ruthless snakeoil salesman in you that can’t resist having a dig at the alternate products from the Labor Party and the Greens in an end-of-year address to the nation because you truly believe that you must never, ever, miss an opportunity to score a political point, right?

Half of Australia – it could be much more now – is done with you because it no longer has any faith in you. They are well and truly over you.

They are over the lies you told to get re-elected.

They are over the many lies you’ve told since the May election. You’ve shown time and time again that while you might be able to lie straight in bed, you can’t do it out of it. Your office has shown it can lie effortlessly for you too.

They are over your total lack of style, class or any real plans for this country’s future.

They are over your Pentecostal talking-in-tongues, the prosperity theory that demands you tear down personally anyone who stands in your way of accumulating wealth and most worrying of all, your belief in the coming rapture.

They are well and truly over your total lack of empathy.

They are done with your smirk and the way you shirk your responsibilities.

Murdoch and his newspapers might not be but Australia is done with you.

And among all those people who are now done with you is a sizeable minority of Australians who now despise you with a visceral intensity never witnessed in this country before.

Sorry, Scottie from Marketing, old chum, but basically, you make their flesh crawl. You truly are a horrible individual.

They despise the fact that you’re a cold-hearted, self-centred man of amazingly limited abilities who will never change.

Their numbers will have grown in recent weeks and it’s all been on your head, Scottie from Marketing, for your lack of leadership in recent times has been worse than woeful. If there’s not a Christian bone in your body – and your life’s work suggests that – there’s not an ounce of leadership skill residing there either.

Australia is broken in a number of ways and it’s got no chance of mending while you remain in office.

So, for Australia’s sake, Scottie from Marketing, the Liar from the Shire, the Happy Clapping, Slogan Bogan, Daggy Dad Next Door, please, please, please…  for all our sakes, just fuck off.

And if you won’t go because of your ego and your hubris and your rotten, stupid belief that you really are your particular magic sky daddy’s gift to Australian national politics, a desperate nation must turn to the Liberal Party’s federal parliamentarians and plead with them to do the right thing by this nation.

Hard to imagine, I know, but any of the current crop of Morrison ministry boofheads, braggarts, bores and bullies would do a better job than you, Scott Morrison, has as PM.

At least for a little while as a smoke-ravaged Australia catches its breath.