Is your kid a future world leader?

VOCATIONAL GUIDANCE:

School report time is the perfect opportunity for parents to check whether they just might have a future national or world political leader on their hands, a leading Australian child educationist says.

And Associate Professor Castor Widenet of the Adelaide University’s School of Education’s vocational research unit says high academic performance is not necessarily a marker parents need to look for to see whether their Tomasina, Dick or Harriet is a natural-born leader.

“Poor school grades can be attributed to two casual factors,” Prof, Widenet told The Bug. “A total lack of interest in school subjects through boredom and indifference due to a student being far too intelligent for their own good or because students are simply just too bloody stupid to do well in class.

“Our research shows that most current country and world leaders fit neatly into this latter category.

“So all I’m saying to parents is: don’t be alarmed if you see all those Fs against school subjects; your child may very well one day be among the prime-ministerial portraits in Parliament House, or leader of the United Nations!

“Parents simply need to read and access the teacher’s comments in their children’s report cards as to why they’re failing so miserably. If the teacher has made it clear poor school performance has nothing to do with a student being bored out of their exceptionally high IQ brains and everything to do with being borderline moronic, a glittering and successful political career is a distinct possibility.

“Besides, the world would be a topsy-turvy place if every kid was smart enough to be a doctor or engineer,” Prof. Widenet added.

The educationist provided The Bug with a series of current report card extracts gleaned for his research work  from students across Australasia.

The education expert said the next thing parents needed to look for were signs that despite their low academic achievements “future national leaders” still possessed an amazing degree of self-confidence evidenced by self-boasting hubris, a complete and infallible belief in their own genius and a rat cunning that bordered on the scary.

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“If chutzpah reigns supreme even though your child may have trouble by the end of state school adding up 10 and 15, then look out: that’s a future state premier or  long-time prime minister right there!

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“Parents also need to look for personality markers to access future political prospects.

“Look for signs that your child is a complete and utter bully yet believes he or she would be incredibly brave if the need ever arose and, of course, someone who’s seemingly incapable of ever telling the truth.

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“Rejoice if you read a teacher’s assessment that Tomasina, Dick and Harriet are inveterate liars who “lie for lying’s sake even when there appears to be absolutely no need to lie”.

Associate Professor Widenet provided some report card extracts to show there were also a number physical markers that pointed to political greatness.

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