Scorcese turns back the clock

MOVIES:

US film director Martin Scorcese has defended his use of “de-ageing” software on his latest gangster epic The Irishman.

The new film uses the specialised imaging software to take years off the main cast that includes Robert De Niro and Al Pacino (main picture) who star alongside Joe Pesci and Harvey Keitel.

“I know some people have criticised the technique but I think it’s not all that noticeable,” Scorcese said.

The Irishman covers the 1950s to 1970s and follows the activities of union leader and mobster, Frank Sheeran played by De Niro, including his involvement in the 1975 disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa, a former leader of the Teamsters’ Union, played by Al Pacino.

Scorcese said he used the de-ageing software for sound artistic reasons.

“I needed the main stars to look younger in the first half of the film so they can age as the story goes on,” Scorcese explained.

“But all of the lead actors are now in their 70s and let’s face it — pardon the pun — they look like the scrotum of a prune that’s stayed in the pool too long.

“I’ve never seen so many wrinkles, flabby jowels, blotches, and broken veins since Keith Richards guest starred with Angela Landsbury in that never-aired nude episode of Murder She Wrote.

“Let’s face it, Bobby, Al, Joe, and Harvey are great actors. But moviegoers just won’t buy tickets to see a big screen filled by actors with faces that look like plates of unbleached tripe.

“So yeah, I took the decision on solid artistic grounds,” he said.

“And I’m just grateful that the script does not call for a romantic involvement for any of these old geezers, especially towards the film’s end.

“If I had to film any of them kissing an actress a third of their age, there would have been even more filmgoers vomiting in the aisles than when dessicated ballsack Sean Connery at 68 and the beautiful Catherine Zeta-Jones, 29, flirted with each other in Entrapment.”