Simon boyling-mad over botched op

anews in brief dinkus


Cowell faces up to new look

Music producer and TV talent show judge Simon Cowell has explained the noticeable change in his appearance after undergoing a facelift.

Speaking to reporters outside his London home, Mr Cowell defended and explained his radical new look (main picture).

“I must confess I’m no stranger to cosmetic surgery,” he told reporters.

“But this time my plastic surgeon was discussing the operation with me and told me all about possible side-effects that can cause all sorts of adverse reactions such as scarring or skin eruptions.

“I said that co-incidentally I dreamed a dream that I had a boil on my face.

“I don’t think he was listening carefully, or at least he took my remark the wrong way,” Mr Cowell said.

Chinese army’s water warning

News that Hong Kong police have deployed water cannon to help disperse street protesters has sparked a warning from China’s powerful People’s Liberation Army.

A spokesperson for the PLA in Beijing said the army had its own fleet of water cannon which could also be deployed on Hong Kong streets if required.

“These vehicles are currently being held in Shenzhen along with many PLA troops just in case Hong Kong authorities need to call on them,” the spokesperson said.

“But the PLA wants the protestors to be well aware that the army’s water cannon use a totally different type of water.

“The water we use is what might be described as heavy water. It has a very, very high lead content.

“Just saying,” the spokesperson said.

PM enjoys G7 visit

Prime Minister Scott Morrison says he has so far enjoyed his visit to the G7 summit in the picturesque French city of Biarritz.

After spending the day rubbing shoulders with world leaders, Mr Morrison admitted he was still surprised at being invited to attend the summit as a special guest.

“As a mid-ranking power we don’t usually receive such invitations to attend a summit like this so I’m making the most of it,” he said.

“Everyone has been very welcoming. Although I’m starting to wonder why all the other leaders keep telling me they love Vienna and can’t wait to return the favour and visit me there.”