Boris has plans for a plan

UK POL DINKUSUK Prime Minister Boris Johnson has devised a new plan to devise a Brexit plan.

At a news conference outside 10 Downing Street this morning, Mr Johnson said to develop the plan he planned to develop a version of the TV game show Deal Or No Deal.

“Now listen chaps… and chapettes,” he said to reporters. “It’s been a jolly few weeks, what. Being PM and all.

“But I’ve been reminded by my Cabinet Ministers that as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom I actually need to have a plan for achieving Brexit. They’re very insistent on that.

“Apparently there’s an expectation that I have to strike a deal with the European Union before the end of October when we’re due to exit the EU.

“My Ministers tell me it’s not the done thing to leave without a deal. I say, that’s certainly come as a bit of a shock, what.

“I haven’t given a moment’s thought to a deal. I thought that as PM all I had to do was not be Theresa May and everything would be tickety boo.

“But now I have to have a plan which is exactly what I’m planning to do.

“It’s all a bit of a wheeze, if I say so myself. I’ll be asking the BBC to develop a special one-off version of Deal Or No Deal, with all those attaché cases, and all those bids and guesses about what’s inside each one.

“I must say I loved to lay down on the sofa, spill a few reds, have a spiffing blazing row with whomever I was dating that day and watch the show when it was still on air a few years back.

“I was fascinated by the guessing and second guessing about what case held what, as well as the regular features such as Super Case, Double or Nothing, Mega Guess, Switch Case, Risk It All, and Dash for Cash.

“I admit I didn’t have a damn clue about the rules or how the show worked. But I know that when they were made a Bank Offer, each contestant had to decide on a deal or no deal, which is why I think it’s the perfect vehicle for helping me solve Brexit.

“I figure if I can get more than twenty Britons in the same room, all holding briefcases, then odds are one of them will contain a Brexit plan that I can take to Brussels,” he said.