Beattie grilled on ARLC departure

SPORT:

The Australian sporting world is shocked today to learn that former Queensland Premier Peter Beattie is standing down as Chair of the Australian Rugby League Commission at the end of his first three-year term. The Bug has this exclusive interview with Mr Beattie about his decision, conducted by Mr Beattie, as is his wont.

Beattie: Is it true I’m standing down as CRAL Chair?

Beattie: I think I mean ARLC, don’t I?

Beattie: Yes, of course, ARLC. But, yes, I can confirm I am not going to seek another term.

Beattie: Why would I do that?

Beattie: Well, this job is bigger than one person.

Beattie: But I’ll let others judge just what a fantastic job I’ve done, won’t I?

Beattie: Yes, of course.

Beattie: I’ve had a couple of wobbles, though, haven’t I?

Beattie: What do I consider to be some of the problems I struck?

Beattie: Well, they were small fry things when you consider the rest of my brilliant achievements as LARC Chair.

Beattie: I mean ARLC, again, don’t I?

Beattie: Yes, of course, ARLC. Look, the problems I had as Chair were trivial things.

Beattie: Such as?

Beattie: Well, silly things like not knowing the Cronulla-Southern Land team was….

Beattie: Sutherland. It’s Cronulla-Sutherland.

Beattie: Of course. I didn’t know the Cronulla-Sutherland team was known as the Whales because they are based in New South Whales.

Beattie: It’s the Sharks and New South Wales, not Whales.

Beattie: Yes, that’s exactly what I meant to say. I just had a brain food.

Beattie: I mean fade, don’t I?

Beattie: Yes, a brain fade.

Beattie: What else went wrong for me?

Beattie: Well there was the time I mixed up that kid’s jersey on live TV, said it was the Newtown Nights.

Beattie: Newcastle Knights, I mean.

Beattie: Yes, the Knights. But it was actually some soccer team’s jersey.

Beattie: So what else did I do wrong?

Beattie: Well, just the other day I mixed up the name of game legend GG Miltonun.

Beattie: That should be JJ Giltinan.

Beattie: Yes, I’m sorry for that and all the other gaffes I made. I take full responsibility and I’ll be holding another news conference to apologise, perhaps multiple news conferences,  to berate myself about all these issues before I leave as Chair of the CRAL.

Beattie: I mean ARLC again don’t I?

Beattie: Yes, ARLC. Three years in the job and I never did find out what the letters actually stand for.