The Bug is proud to present its first sit-down interview with Prime Minister Scott Morrison since his totally unexpected election victory in May. We hope it gives Bug readers a better insight into a master political tactician who has been underestimated by rivals his entire life, especially on both sides of politics, at their peril as it’s turned out.
The Bug: Thanks for your time, Prime Minister.
PM: My pleasure.
The Bug: At the outset, can we just say that while our publication might from time to time be perceived as having a left-wing bent, we were appalled recently to read that veteran political scribe Mungo MacCallum had described you as a hollow man. We totally disagree with that view.
PM: Well, thank you very much.
The Bug: Put simply, anyone who could come up with “if you have a go, you’ll get a go” is anything but a hollow man.
PM: Thank you. How good is that as a slogan, eh? I even worked Winx into it during the election campaign.
The Bug: Yes we noticed that. A hollow man couldn’t have done that.
The Bug: And during the campaign you scored a lot of points with “when Labor runs out of its money, it’ll come after yours”.
PM: Don’rt forget the kicker: Bill Shorten would have his hands in your pockets.
The Bug: Not the work of a hollow man.
PM: I wouldn’t think so.
The Bug: And we’re assuming “It’s your money and we want you to keep more of it” was pure Morrison?
PM: What can I say….?
The Bug: “We won’t be matching Labor’s unfunded empathy” was also one of yours?
PM: Well, yes, of course.
The Bug: And “the best form of welfare is a job”?
PM: Thanks, but I’m not sure whether that was originally one of mine.
The Bug: It sounds heartless enough.
PM: Thanks. I’m happy to claim it then. How good would that be?
The Bug: If you want to get ahead, work harder and longer. Get better paid jobs. Move to where the jobs are?
PM: Me. Me. Me.
The Bug: A hollow man simply wouldn’t be capable of coming up with stuff like this … as consistently as you have.
PM: Once again. Thank you. You’re very kind.
The Bug: Prime Minister, we at The Bug are convinced that you are anything but a hollow man. In fact, we at The Bug are pretty sure you’re completely full of it.
PM: Why, thank you …I……