Nats to sell off city HQs

fed pols exclusiveFederal National Party leader Michael McSomethingorother (main picture) has unveiled a plan to sell off all party offices in capital cities and shift their staff and operations to regional centres.

“I stood before reporters on Thursday and lambasted the ABC and suggested it should move out of its Ultimo HQ in Sydney to a regional centre to make the national broadcaster more aware and responsive to the needs of average Australians,” Mr McWhathisname said.

“I know it may have sounded odd that I was making the ABC the focus of attention when I should have been tearing strips off the WIN TV network for its foreshadowed staff cuts and newsroom closures which means it is abdicating its role to service regions with local news.

“But if I’ve learned nothing from working with Scott Morrison it’s how to let big business off the hook while shifting blame to innocent parties, especially if they can be portrayed as being on the political left.

“Of course WIN should lose a regional TV licence or two to punish it for abdicating its commitment to serve local communities with local news. But I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for that to happen if I were you.”

Mr McThingamejig said he had acknowledged the double standards in his Thursday comments and had since contacted all state branches of the National Party and ordered them to shift their headquarters to regional towns.

“In New South Wales our party has offices in Pitt Street, Sydney, and in Melbourne the state office is in Little Collins Street. Both addresses are synonymous with both capital cities.

“Queensland’s LNP head office at Spring Hill is a stone’s throw from the Brisbane GPO and other states and territories also have HQs in capital cities.

“But I’m changing that, starting with shutting our national office in Canberra and moving it to Broken Hill.

“The Nationals always say we represent regional communities and I don’t deserve to be leader if I can’t set an example for others, like those lefties at the ABC, to follow,” he said.