Angry pollsters defend their calls

2019 ELECTION WASHUP:

The nation’s political pollsters have launched a strident defence of their canvassing techniques after widespread criticism that they got Saturday’s election horribly wrong.

Political commentators, poll tragics and Labor supporters have been scathing in their assessments of the pollsters after the LNP gained around 52% of the two-party vote – that’s four per cent more than Newspoll and Ipsos both found in their final polls of the campaign.

Both pollsters also found the LNP on a 38% primary vote and media politics pundits and experts argued that there was no way the government could reach the at least 42% primary vote they’d need to cling to power. They got that on the night.

Both polling organisations are members of PMS – Public Mood Surveyors – the national pollsters’ organisation and PMS president and Newspoll’s chief operations officer Ima Badd-Counta told The Bug: “If a week is a long time in politics, then so is a day or two.

Badd-Counta is pictured above at a recent PMS meeting with fellow executive members.

“Our final poll had more than 3000 respondents – it was a biggie – and it was conducted mid-week.

“So no-one can ever prove that we weren’t spot on then. No-one. Never. Ever. It can’t be done.

“I remember the talking heads on one of the TV politics shows – might have been Insiders – saying that many, many voters don’t even start thinking about the issues and how they might vote until the last two days. Clearly that’s what’s happened here.”

Ipsos’s chief statistician Fone Snot-Answering echoed his comments.

“Half of The Ipsos poll was conducted in the four days til Wednesday. We can’t be held responsible for what swinging voters decide in the last few days.

“Logic tells us that our polls simply could not factor in the millions spent by Clive Palmer in newspapers and online.”

Roy Morgan chief researcher Pleez Donthangup said: “Our polls are generally so out of whack with the others which is why we don’t publicise them and for that reason I’d rather not comment, thank you.”

Asked then why Galaxy’s exit polls for the 9 network on the day showed a 52/48 split to Labor,” the Newspoll and Ipsos pollsters both scoffed.

“Galaxy! They make up their findings after examining the entrails of a dozen chickens or the tea leaves in the bottom of a teapot ,” Badd-Counta said.

Snot-Answering agreed: “Or stick pins in voodoo dolls!

“Galaxy is a fucking joke and you can quote me on that!”