Another blow for Clive Palmer

EUROVISION:

Fresh from failing to secure seats at yesterday’s federal election Clive Palmer has fallen flat on his face, literally, at the Eurovision Song Contest.

As vote counting proceeded across Australia last night Mr Palmer realised his $80 million-plus advertising push would not deliver him the Queensland Senate seat he desired, and would not elect a single United Australia Party candidate in either the upper or lower house.

A UAP spokesperson who did not wish to be identified told The Bug the election outcome convinced Mr Palmer to seek to buy a victory elsewhere.

“Someone told him the Eurovision Song Contest was also being held in Israel this weekend,” the spokesperson said.

“So he made a snap decision to buy his way into the grand final and jumped on his private jet and flew to Tel Aviv late on Saturday night.

“When he landed he cornered Kate Miller-Heidke and paid her several million dollars to step aside so that he could take her place.

“He didn’t have time to rehearse the new lyrics to her song he’d written on the plane, Zero Senate Seats,  but went straight on stage instead of Kate.

“Unfortunately the big swaying acrobatic sticks Kate has been using as part of her act couldn’t take Clive’s weight and his snapped halfway through the song (main picture).

“He landed flat on his face, for the second time this weekend but this time literally.

“It’s a bit disappointing for Kate. She looked like she was on her way to victory but Clive and all his cash derailed that for her.

“Hmmmm, that sounds a bit familiar,” the spokesperson said.