One-eyed Des cops a fine

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Highly respected Brisbane journalist and Courier and Sunday Mail columnist Des Houghton (pictured above) has largely escaped police sanction after sideswiping several parked cars on his way back to the office after Friday night’s debate at the Gabba between Prime Minister Scott Morrison and Opposition Leader Bill Shorten.

Moments after giving the Sky News/The Courier-Mail debate to the PM 12/10 to Mr Shorten’s -3/10, Mr Houghton was spotted driving inbound on Ipswich Road and was seen by a police patrol having difficulty from stopping his car from veering right.

He then sideswiped several cars parked on the right-hand-side of one-way Macrossan Street in Fortitude Valley once he’d crossed the Story Bridge.

He was pulled over and the traffic cops accepted the journalist’s explanation that he can’t see a thing out of his left eye, mainly because that eye closed over completely the very day he started work at a News Corp Australia masthead way back when.

They did fine him $300, however, for not having a right-side rear-vision mirror.

Mr Houghton told The Bug overnight: “I have no interest whatsoever in talking to you ratbag, commie socialists.”

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It looks as if a comment by former Prime Minister Tony Abbott about bringing back the Australian car industry to produce non-electric vehicles has not impressed the bookies. 

While Mr Abbott later tried to explain that the comment at a candidates’ forum with main rival independent Zali Steggall was “tongue in cheek”, the bookies appear to have taken into account his role in closing down the Australian manufacturers of petrol and diesel vehicles several years ago.

Sportsbet now has the Mad Monk and Zali Steggall both at $1.85. Some days ago, it was Abbott $1.75 Steggall $2.

While the Libs look likely to reclaim Wentworth – now very firm favourites at $1.18 to $4.70 for Doctor Phelps – party strategists know that if they lose Warringah, they’re in real strife.

The Bug understands retention of Warringah is so crucial to the Morrison government’s re-election hopes that plans have been swung into action to ensure Mr Abbott makes no further campaign gaffes or tries to give someone a knighthood over the next 13 days.

A heavily sedated and trussed Mr Abbott and his wife Margie flew out last night for a two-week holiday in a secluded beach shack out of phone range on one of the more secluded and remote atolls in the Maldives in the Indian Ocean.

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Former Liberal Party candidate for the Tasmanian seat of Lyons, Jessica Whelan, has launched an unfair dismissal case against the Liberal Party of Australia.

She will argue in court that her various anti-Muslim statements were completely in line with party policy as enunciated by Prime Minister Scott Morrison, Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton and other senior ministers over time.

The Bug understands that Ms Whelan has handed over to her barrister more than a tonne of documents outlining statements by Mr Morrison and many ministers over years clearly designed to inflame anti-Muslim sentiment in the community.

“Hello! Hello!” Ms Whelan told The Bug. “Does anyone believe the government spent close to $200 million reopening Christmas Island because everyone being kept on Manus Island and Nauru are all retired Methodist ministers and their families and there’s no way they’re ever going to get to the mainland?

“Or that there was no purpose to the last six years of demonising refugees as “illegals” than to build public distrust and opposition to these people?

“Or that Scott Morrison at a shadow cabinet meeting only brought up the idea of using anti-Muslim sentiment in the community as a political tool because he was so keen to stop the idea dead in its tracks?”

Ms Whelan said all she had ever done in her political life was to vigorously apply LNP policy as a proud member of the Liberals.

“I only wanted to alert voters to the dangers towel-heads represent to our way of life and that message was really resonating with the voters of Lyons.

“Muzzies may only be one per cent of the population now but you mark my words, if they get to 5 per cent, they’ll demand sharia law!”

Ms Whelan’s unfair dismissal action is up again for mention in the Court of Public Opinion on May 18.