Your one-eyed columnist offers his final seven reasons why he thinks Labor will do very, very well at the 18 May federal election.
He hopes the 21 points – in no particular order – have calmed the nerves of many of his left-leaning friends who have understandably become a little bit edgy as political scribes and all sorts of commentators waffle on about a close contest looming over the next three weeks.
Can’t wait for May 18. As my old mate Ned Ryerson says, it’s going to be a doozey!
15: The fundamental difference.
A fair go for all Australians or a fair go for those who have a go, whatever the fuck the latter means to the happy-clapping, slogan-bogan, baseball-cap wearing, beer- skolling, snakeoil salesman, talker-in-tongues from the Shire (above). I’ll back the “fair go” any day of the week and I believe a solid majority of Australian voters will too.
16: The personal attacks.
Weren’t we all taught in high school/college debating to play the ball and not the man? Not to make the personal attacks like those I’ve made in the point above? It’s okay for me to do it, by the way – I’m not running for public office so there’s no need to appear to be nice and reasonable.
Abbott, Turnbull and now Morrison have all ratcheted up their vicious personal attacks on Shorten. In Question Time for years, Shorten has been a lying, sycophantic, brown-noser sliding his legs under the tables of billionaires where he does not belong, slithering his way to the Lodge as the most dangerous snake-in-the-grass, furtherest left-wing contender for PM in our nation’s history. In this campaign, Morrison seems incapable of opening his mouth without starting on sneaky, shifty Bill Shorten who “lies, that’s all he ever does, lies all the time”.
I reckon that if you placed all the political journos who have ever been on the Insiders panel over the last 18 years end on end, apart from having a lot of fun with a steamroller, you wouldn’t find one that argues such personal attacks work in politics. Even Niki Savva.
Okay, maybe Piers Akerman if you could track down the independent commentator somewhere on the streets of Warringah where he is independently helping Tony Abbott while independently wearing a pro-Tony t-shirt (picture).
There’s a vast difference between negative campaigning on opponents’ policies and what the government has tried to do to Shorten. Polling shows it hasn’t worked for years.
17: The ABC.
The LNP seems hellbent on cutting the ABC to the quick. Selling off Aunty is the policy of the Liberals’ national organisational wing and the LNP’s patron, the Institute of Public Affairs. It’s got to be worth one per cent extra vote to Labor.
Has there been anything more stomach-turning in the campaign to date than to hear Murdoch brown-nosing hacks spewing out their far-right rubbish while loudly accusing the ABC of lacking the balance, fairness and integrity that they, hands on hearts, claim to be applying to the campaign?
I’ll repeat an oft-made comment: if Shorten and his ministers spend one red cent of departmental advertising money with any of Rupe’s rotten rags over the next three years, then they are fucking idiots.
18: Ongoing field work by anti-government forces.
If the activities in marginal government seats over months – GetUp!, the trade union movement generally, and the health, education and construction unions specifically – haven’t shifted votes then politicians of all colours may as well cease door-knocking now. It simply doesn’t work.
19: The cash splash in the final dash.
Whatever the LNP has up its sleeve in government (our) money to woo voters over the next three weeks, Labor has much more stuffed under its shirt and down both trouser legs.
Even though Shorten, Bowen and Co are trying their best to appear very fiscally responsible, I’d fancy a bet that Labor will increase the NewStart allowance before polling day.
20: Party political funding.
This one’s a little dubious as it’s based on the theory that Labor and the unions will have a lot more of their money to spend on ads towards the business end of the campaign – that is, if there are any people left still to vote by then.
The Liberals, great economic managers that they are, are supposedly broke and you can almost feel sorry for them now that their $200 million taxpayer funded “haven’t we been great” ad campaign has come to an end, right?
Except that towards the bitter end, I suspect we’ll be inundated with LNP paid propaganda – we usually are. And if they achieve that without Fizza’s deep pockets this time round, there might need to be a royal commission into that as well.
21: Being played off a break.
Despite the media’s best efforts in the first two weeks and supposedly from now on (including the ABC: shame on you!) to highlight and overplay every Shorten/Labor misstep/misspeak, Shorten, Burke, Bowen, Plibersek, et al, have for some years now played Morrison and his ministers off a break tactically and policy-wise.
Even if we accept the full-throated chorus of MSM political reporters and commentators that Shorten had a poor first two weeks – I don’t – the chances of that happening again over the next three are very, very slim. Expect a targeted and slick Labor campaign from now on.
And Shorten will more than hold his own in the couple of election debates planned even though I’m totally confident the bulk of Australian media will see it quite differently.
Thank you and goodnight.