Assange’s pussy grabbed

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Julian Assange’s cat Whistleblower has been hauled out of the Ecuadorian embassy in London and is battling extradition threats similar to those now faced by his master.

The moggie who started Whiskersleaks while holed up in the embassy with his Australian owner for the past seven years now faces the likelihood of being sent to Sweden to answer historic pussy-related charges or, even worse, to the United States over charges of attempting to purrvert the course of the American way of life.

Whistleblower allegedly hacked into sensitive United States Government statistics on pet ownership and altered records to show that felines were far superior to canines on 24 markers for suitability as domesticated animals, including the facts that cats didn’t annoy people with their constant all-night barking and always covered up their own shits.

The unkempt and unshaven pussy struggled, scratched and emitted an almost continuous scream as he was manhandled into a London Police van by the same burly officers who had evicted Assange several days earlier.

The arrival of the van at the London watchhouse was greeted with catcalls from protestors who had assembled outside when news of Whistleblower’s arrest spread via social media.

Whistleblower later appeared in the London Magistrates’ Court where he sat quietly in the dock.

At one stage he appeared to be taking a catnap but awoke and spent several moments walking in a tight circle before settling into his seat.

As his legal team argued for the extradition application to be dismissed and for him to be released immediately, Whistleblower began grooming himself by raising each back leg in sequence and licking his genitals and anus.

Magistrate  Her Worship Devon Rex reserved her decision on the Crown Prosecutor’s application to extradite Whistleblower to Sweden.

She adjourned the court until later this week and granted Whistleblower bail on the condition he be taken from the court, castrated immediately and fitted with a flea collar.

Postscript: Hollywood moguls are anxious to bring Whistleblower’s story to the big screen as soon as they can find a cat that looks nothing like him.