Oscars look to the future

ACADEMY AWARDS:

The annual Academy Awards may continue the practice of having no host next year and beyond and organisers are considering other major changes.

The success of this week’s 91st Oscars presentation ceremony from Hollywood without a dedicated host has caused the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to swiftly review its plans.

Academy spokesperson Maxine Bialystock (main picture) said the absence of a host appeared to have made no significant difference to the ceremony.

“The Academy is now looking at making the no-host Oscars a permanent thing, and we are also considering extending the concept to having no presenters next year,” Ms Bialystock said.

“After all, the presenters just waste everyone’s time by slowly walking on stage, preening themselves at the lectern while waiting for the stage-managed applause to die down, then reading some fatuous guff off the autocue, often very badly.

“In following years we are looking at doing away with the physical Oscar statuettes too.

“We realise that in the #metoo era an award in the shape of a naked man holding a weapon of coercion is just a no-no.

“Eventually we hope to phase out the whole awards ceremony altogether and just publish winners online, which seems to be what the public wants if tumbling ratings for the televised Oscars are to be believed.

“An alternative is to extend this year’s initiative and have a three-hour telecast that’s just wall-to-wall advertisements which gives us an excuse to present all awards off-camera  during this three-hour commercial break.

“Either way it should save us or make us a fortune,” she said.

The Bug asked Ms Bialystock if the widespread criticism on social media of this week’s best picture award winner Green Book would prompt the Academy to review award categories.

“Yes, it certainly did seem that Green Book was not a popular choice according to those on social media,” she said.

“Maybe we should look at a having a category for Most Popular Film. Oh, wait….” she said before music swelled and, despite a pathetic attempt at a cheeky Olivia Colman raspberry, she was forced to end the interview.