It’s curtains for male MP wannabees


The race is on to replace former Foreign Minister Julie Bishop in her West Australian seat of Curtin – and it looks like the 21-year parliamentary veteran will be getting her wish that she be replaced by a woman.

An early front-runner is Kristi-Anne Portner (pictured above), a business woman from the beachside suburb of Cottesloe within the electorate. A CV circulated overnight to the West Australian and far-less important media outlets says Ms Portner is a born-and-bred local and a former bikini model who also studied law before setting up a string of successful local businesses, many with a strong charitable bent.

“Julie Bishop was a wonderful role model for women and given the opportunity, I would love to pearce (sic) that political glass ceiling ever further,” Ms Portner wrote.

In a direct appeal when contacted by The Bug, Ms Portner said: “But, please, while I am not the least bit ashamed of my earlier life as a bikini model – I certainly was smoking hot and many say I still am – I would really prefer it if you highlighted my business life and philanthropic activities.”

breheny2Other female contestants who have now put up their hand to contest Liberal Party pre-selection for what should still be a safe conservative seat include:

Victorian country businesswoman Simone-Bree Heney (pictured) who told The Bug overnight it would be an honour to represent the people of Curtains (sic) and who pledged to move to the electorate should she win pre-selection; and

South Australian the Lady Dowager Georgina Downer (pictured below), who was non-committal about shifting her work and residence to the West Australian capital should she “be given the honour – and I mean ‘given’ – of representing the lovely people of that particular electorate whose name escapes me just now, in the federal Parliament”.countess lady downer2

Lady Downer said in a statement: “Daddy’s family owned much of Western Australia in colonial times and it would really feel like coming home for me when the local Liberal people do the right thing and select me as their local member for life.

“I’ll make it my staff’s work to improve the lot of the serfs and vassals of this amazing electorate.

“Of course Daddy has assured me I would never need to set foot in the place. After all, we have servants for that sort of tedious ground work.”