Democrats are off and running


A record 3472 people have so far declared their candidacy for the US Democratic Party’s nomination to run against President Donald Trump in 2020.

Democratic Party officials said nominations were constantly arriving by email at the party’s headquarters from Members of Congress, state governors, other state officials, city mayors and office bearers, and rank and file party members.

Today a substantial queue of would-be nominees was still growing in front of the US Capitol building in Washington (pictured) with each waiting to hold at a news conference on the building’s steps to announce their candidacy.

“We’ve been overwhelmed by nominations,” a party spokesperson told The Bug.

“The election of Donald Trump in 2016 has had the effect of energising a whole new generation of political activists and the Democratic Party is their natural political home.

“They are young and very keen to engage in politics as a way to become involved in community service or good causes, to promote innovative, visionary, and fairer policies, to tackle local, national, and global problems that have been ignored for too long, and to dedicate themselves to the greater good rather than narrow self-interest.”

The Bug asked if that meant the next Democratic candidates for US President and Vice-President would also be young, innovative, visionary, and altruistic individuals.

“Not a chance,” the spokesperson said. “As usual, the 2020 nomination will end up going to some flabby, grey-haired if not bald, old hack politician who’s been a Washington insider for decades with no new ideas, no vision for our nation’s future except for some simple slogan that an ad agency will dream up and road test before letting it loose.

“Plus they’ll be guaranteed to be carrying a ton of personal and political baggage and barely concealed scandals from their past.

“But they’re the ones with all the high-level connections that he or she can pressure for the campaign funds that we’ll need to spend faster than we can raise.

“So I’d put money on Hillary Clinton or Joe Biden being recycled as our nominee with some other has-been as their running mate.

“Oh, and I’d also put money on four more years for Trump,” he said.