Corbyn goes through the motions

brexit-crisis-dinkusBritish Opposition Leader Jeremy Corbyn (pictured) has delivered a semi-inspiring speech, urging his Labour Party MPs and supporters to be ready to govern “maybe in a little while, as soon as someone else sorts out this Brexit shit fight”.

In a matter-of-fact speech to the House of Commons, the Labour Party leader said his party was “pretty much ready to assume government but, you know, not just right now”.

His address followed the vote in the House of Commons that saw Prime Minister Theresa May’s proposed Brexit deal defeated by 432 votes to 202.

Tabling his foreshadowed no-confidence motion in the government, Mr Corbyn said a debate on the motion later this week was a chance for MPs to vote out the May Government “hopefully after they get a workable Brexit deal up and running before that”.

He said Britons should  “rally behind Labour as the party to replace this shambles of a government, at some time in the near future or at least in the medium term”.

“But really, there’s no real immediate urgency to do that this week,” he cautioned.

To cries from backbenchers of “Speak up!”, Mr Corbyn continued: “Labour is ready to govern in the best interests of our nation and its citizens.

“We have outlined the polices we believe will make life better for everyone in our United Kingdom,” he mumbled.

“And we are ready to accept the responsibility of governing our great nation, just as soon as the current government, or someone, anyone for god’s sake, cobbles together a Brexit deal that can work or at least not deliver us another  trolley full of shit sandwiches.

“I stand ready to lead our nation, provided I don’t have to touch this festering and toxic pile of excrement that is Brexit,” he said in a subdued conclusion to his oration that was somewhat drowned out by nearby MPs snoring.

STOP PRESS: Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has just withdrawn his motion of no confidence in the May Tory government after party strategists told him it had a fair chance of succeeding.