The meaning of Christmas…..

The Bug wandered out onto the streets of our towns to ask people at random what Christmas now meant for them, and whether their attitudes to the festive season had changed over time – for good or for bad.

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Claude Inel-Pell, 60, community liaison officer:

“Christmas is a special time of giving for me. I just love seeing the looks of surprise on the innocent faces of the young children as I unwrap and present my gift to them.”

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Morris Scotson, 52, salesman:

“I have previously thought Christmas is a time for silent reflection. But this time around I’m praying out loud to our saviour the Lord Jesu…. I mean to Santa, to see if there’s any possibility of a smallish, but frightening nonetheless, terror attack on Australia some time before May. Not a big one, mind you. But just big enough. Perhaps even affecting a few marginal seats.”

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Willy Sure-Term, 51:

“Christmas is a time we should be thinking of others. Right now I’m thinking of a certain media mogul whom I hope to give the shock of his, now very limited, life in a few months.”

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Cass Andrathawbern, 41

“Christmas is a time for forgiving and forgetting. But of course there’s always room in my heart to see one arsehole get their comeuppance.”

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Kerry-Ken Early, 86:

“Christmas is a time to make plans for the coming new year and this year I plan to send my show reel to a certain former employer and hope they will soon be begging me to return to a certain job I once performed really quite well for another former employer some years back.”

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Logie Statuette, 58:

“It’s a time to be grateful, and I am truly grateful that next year I’ll have one less pissed egotistical idiot around who’s likely to lose me.”