Mallee battle proves a Downer


NEWSFLASH: The Countess Georgina Downer of Mayo (pictured) has quit the Liberal Party and will seek preselection for the Nationals in disgraced MP Andrew Broad’s seat of Mallee.

The move by Lady Downer has shocked senior Liberals nationally who believed she was committed to recontesting the South Australia seat of Mayo at the looming federal poll.

The news also sent her poor father, Lord Downer, (pictured) firstly into a deep swoon and then a semi-catonic collapsed state from which his distraught lead team of six scantily-clad but well-oiled sedan-chair lifters was still applying mouth-to-mouth in a frantic attempt to get him up as this exclusive report went to press.

Lady Downer told The Bug her family traditionally had come from the land and Mallee was a natural fit for her to reclaim her country roots.

lord downer1“The Downer family practically established Australia as we know it today and I believe the wonderful folk of Mallett would be honoured to have me as their excellent local member, even if for some unfathomable reason we do not have a House of Lords and I will be forced to sit in the House of so-called ‘Representaives’.

“And, besides, Malley and Mayo both start with ‘M’ and they are practically side by side,” she sniffed.

“Not that I need to, or ever would, set foot in the seat if the so-called ‘voters’ recognised my birth right at that new fangled thing called the ‘ballot box’,” Lady Downer opined while cooling herself by fluttering her ivory-spined, panda leather fan near her face.

Lady Downer’s move follows calls by National Party president Larry Anthony for a woman to run in the conservative rural seat to be vacated at the next election by Broad, the two-timer MP forced to quit following publication of his humiliating Hong Kong sex escapades.

But Lady Downer as a brand-new Nationals member will face some stiff competition to be selected to contest the plum seat for the rural-based party led by the charismatic Michael McCormack.

The Bug understands that a well-credentialled female candidate with a long history of commitment to the Mallee area and its people has already sent in her nomination forms to the party.

She is 34-year-old Simone Breheny (pictured) who according to her biographical notes grew up in central Victoria and is a fifth-generation sheep grazier/wheat farmer from just outside Hopetoun in the heart of the rural electorate in Victoria’s west.

simon breheny country woman.jpg