Quiz time, folks!
Can anyone name the flaccid-arsed, money-hungry, power-mad, out-of-touch Yank octogenarian who has also once again displayed ongoing erectile dysfunction as one of his many late-life ailments by not being able to get things up in Victoria at the weekend?
Okay, okay. Hands down. Too simple a question, obviously.
We talk, of course, of the Dirty Digger, Rupert “I never tell me editors what to do” Murdoch.
And once again, we see all over a face – probably even more wrinkled now than his pathetic, dried-up old ballsack* – the egg caused by the failure of one of his surviving organs, the Herald Sun, to deliver the result he so badly desired in the Victorian state elections.
Admittedly, the paper’s call for Victorians to elect as their Premier the current Opposition Leader Matthew Guy – the shattered Liberals have yet to meet for a post-mortem and send him packing – was relatively restrained. The argument was as paper thin as Murdoch’s ethics: the Andrews government had sort of done okay but only deserved one term because… aah, err, umm…. well because they were not the Liberal Party and as we all know Liberals are more likely, perhaps just, to do his bidding. Give his outfit a very, very large tax rebate. Give it $30 million to cover a few women’s sports. Give it just about whatever he wants to make his mediocre empire even more money. That sort of thing.
The Melbourne paper’s endorsement of their Guy was very light on logical argument, but has that ever deterred the Murdoch mindset?
Of course, Saturday night’s results once again spotlight the ever-increasing impotency of Rupert’s rotten rags around Australia to bend public opinion to the great man’s will. But as elections come and go, it never seems to worry the media mongrel that thrashing his brand and dispensing with all the basic principles of journalism to relentlessly push right-wing causes appears to worry him not a jot.
Four years ago the Herald Sun did all it could to kill even the the idea of an Andrews Labor government in Victoria.
His Daily Torygraph in Sydney pilloried Shorten and Labor during the 2016 federal campaign, yet Labor gobbled up seats in western Sydney – supposedly the Torygraph‘s heartland – and took then PM Fizza (remember him?) right down to the wire.
The Curious-Snail in Brisbane has twice thrown objectivity and most other tenets of journalistic probity to the wind in successive state election campaigns to firstly try to save one-termer Campbell Newman (remember him?) and secondly stop Premier Anna Palaszczuk from getting a second term.
Both were disastrous failures, despite the Curious-Snail being a monopoly rag in Brisbane and home to LNP stenographer, Des Houghton, and his ranting columns.
If thrashing his brands and insulting a majority of his readers around Oz don’t worry Rupe, what does as the passing of time proves he is human after all ? The plaintive calls by Jerry from his New York mansion’s master bedroom for a little bit of horizontal folkdancing action? The tossing and turning in bed once he knows Gerry is fully asleep as he ponders which of his children are far-right-wing enough and unprincipled enough to inherit his mongrel of a media dynasty?
In the meantime, I again urge everyone, not just fellow washed-up old journo hacks, to get rightly angry when early next year, the editors of Rupe’s rotten rags – with nary a word from across the Pacific – reach new heights of unprofessionalism as, day after day, they run cartoons of Bill Shorten rampaging Godzilla-like over the people’s homes, crushed underfoot by his negative gearing plans, or dangling on puppet strings from his criminal union masters, hell-bent on grinding Australian industry to a halt.
But also take heart at the same time that a certain flaccid-arsed, money-hungry, power-mad, out-of-touch Yank octogenarian who hasn’t been able to get it up politically for some years now will once again be damaging his brands to the point his rotten rags across Oz will be even more risible and ridiculed than they are now, if that’s at all possible.
* If you think I’m being a bit personal here against the world’s greatest ever media mongrel, just remember he was head of a media organisation infected with a culture that excused as perfectly reasonable the pursuit of newspaper sales by hacking the mobile phone of a murdered English girl and falsely giving her parents hope she was still alive. Unconscionable, despicable behaviour.