Plans for rock opera may be wiped

EXCLUSIVE:

A Brisbane theatrical identity is disappointed that the rock opera he has written telling the story of the city’s notorious “Poo Jogger” may never take to the stage.

Vince Agarol (pictured) told The Bug he had found little interest from investors in the project.

“I am accustomed to the timidity of private theatrical investors and Poo Jogger: The Musical seems beyond their comfort zone,” Mr Agarol said in an exclusive interview.

photo-1530192742375-0cbabc8953a4He said the work tells the story of the city’s “Poo Jogger” who gained international attention when he was caught earlier this year after regularly defecating on a suburban driveway on Brisbane’s southside.

Mr Agarol said he feared the rock opera may join the list of his other unproduced entertainment projects that included a screenplay for a feature film about the origin of the lamington in the 1890s at Old Government House in Brisbane when Lord Lamington resided there as the state’s Governor.

“I thought doing it as an artsy-fartsy black and white film as a homage to the colours of the cake itself might cut costs and attract some cash, but how wrong I was,” Mr Agarol said.

“My plans for a play set in 1971 in a Townsville family home at the height of Cyclone Althea fell flat too.

“I wrote it for performance in-the-round and La Boite Theatre in Brisbane was interested for a short while but pulled out because I insisted — for the integrity  of the story — that the stage needed to rotate 360 degrees at 196 kph.

“Then I spent months shopping around all networks an idea for a TV sitcom set at the time of the 1974 Brisbane floods, but none of them wanted to touch it.

“I had SBS interested when I conceded I could rewrite the pilot to throw in a few gratuitous nude scenes, but even they ended up giving me the arse.

“In fact none of these came good but I carried on undeterred.”

Mr Agarol said he had sent the prospectus for Poo Jogger: The Musical (pictured) to dozens of potential investors with no luck so far.

pj cover“It’s as if they are constipated when it comes to letting go of their cash,” he said.

“I give myself until Christmas and then I’m afraid I’ll have to wash my hands of the idea of having the project funded locally.

“I’ll probably be forced to go offshore. I may even have to resort to knocking on the door of Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber.

“He should be a shoo in after all the steaming piles of shit he’s put on stage.”

In the meantime The Bug was given an exclusive preview of snippets of the songs Mr Agarol has assembled for the show.

“Some songs are original compositions but others, like the ones I will play for you today, use new lyrics for old favourites,” he explained.

Mr Agarol said he envisaged the show opening on an upbeat number and had chosen to pen new lyrics to the tune of the fast-paced Willie Nelson favourite On the Road Again.

“I’ve called it On Your Drive Again,” he said and began to play and sing loudly.

On your drive again.
Just can’t wait to crap on your drive again.
The life I love is dropping faeces when I bend.
And I can’t wait to crap on your drive again.

 On your drive again.
Soiling places that I’ve always been.
Dropping coils that I may never see again.
And I can’t wait to crap on your drive again.

 He stopped playing and became reflective.

“I plan to follow the big opening with a couple of slower, more romantic songs,” Mr Agarol said.

“I’ve always liked On the Street Where You Live — a Lerner and Lowe composition from My Fair Lady.”

Mr Agarol started playing and singing again.

I have often jogged down your street before.
And my pants have always stayed well up and on before.
All at once am I several kilos light
Having shat on the street where you live.

 Are there random pees that can cause a frown?
Can you smell a fart In any other part of town?
Does a brown snake pour out of my back door?
No it’s just on the street where you live.

 Without stopping playing he said: “From there we keep with the more romantic mood and move to a song of mine How Do You Solve a Problem Like Diarrhoea based on Rodgers and Hammerstein’s  How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria from Sound of Music.”

How do solve a problem like diarrhoea?
How do you take a crap with your pants down
How do solve a problem like diarrhoea?
By dropping a turd. And taking a piss…….

Mr Agarol abruptly stopped singing, took his hands off the keyboard, and fell silent for a few moments.

“There are other songs, but at the end there is a song of redemption,” he eventually said.

“All of us do crappy things in our lives that reflect a secret side to ourselves and that can hurt others.

“But it’s not the standard we want the world to judge us on or remember us for, so in this case I wanted a song of redemption,” he explained before hitting the keys one last time and belting out the start of the finale he has written to the tune of Abba’s Eurovision-winning Waterloo.

 Portaloo.
I defecated, you went to war.
Portaloo.
Wanted to shit there for ever more.
Portaloo.
Couldn’t resist doing number two.
Portaloo.
Knowing my gift is a pile of poo.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa
Portaloo.
Finally buying a portaloo.

After playing just a portion Mr Agarol stopped, closed the lid of his piano and said: “That final piece reflects the fact that people do change and try to make amends.

“Even someone who did something literally as shitty as he did.”