The column that has fun with the smaller mistakes and missteps of Australia’s mainstream mediocre; that pays homage to those sweet little fishes that individually don’t amount to a full meal but collectively can cause a tummy upset over the overall state of the once great and noble craft of journalism in this country.
This column really does hate picking on Nine News Queensland but as we’ve explained before, it is a major TV news service close to our Brisbane HQ and we can’t keep an eye on them all. And seasoned BUGsters would know that we have, from time to time from time to time from time to time, poked fun at Nine’s 6pm bulletin for three mistakes in just the one broadcast.
But now hear this. Now hear this! Our Bytes compilers reckon we’ve got a new record for the Mount Coot-tha newsroom; three mistakes in 30 seconds before the first ad break last night (Friday).
ONE! Not naming the woman speaking at a meeting of attorneys-general to make it harder for paedophiles to travel between state borders as part of a unified database for people working with children.
It’s our federal Attorney-General Michelle Rowland, by the way.
TWO! And some of you might find this one a little picky but it’s one of our pet hates – the overblown use of “heart-stopping” by the graphic artist(s) in the Nine newsroom.
Video of a New York building collapsing around a family would not have been heart-stopping to those lucky folks who thankfully escaped alive. They wouldn’t have seen it. And any viewer of Nine News Queensland whose heart might stop over such overblown hyperbole really should be in bed and under sedation. The last time we chided NNQ was quite a while ago … no, hold on, it wasn’t! It was Melissa Downes declaring the finish to the Melbourne Cup was heart-stopping even though it was probably the least heart-stopping finish in yonks.
THREE: The graphics person who forgot to insert the bottom strap identifying Michelle Rowland was too busy doing this!
From where hesit (sorry, couldn’t resist) Joel Dry can be excused for delivering “heist” as a two-syllable offering.
For those of youse BUGgers who weren’t all that fussed that we included the “heart-stopping” video as one of our three examples to base our Gone-in-30-seconds pisstake, tough titty!
But here’s a later one to round out the three fuckups-per-bulletin if you’d prefer that approach. Just before the second ad break, Joel touted a “bakery biff” yarn, with two Queensland country pie shops at war because, as he put it, “why this small town is only big enough for one pie”.
One fucking lousy pie! Regardless of which shop wins this battle and carries on without competition, our Bytes compilers just don’t think it’s got much of a future selling one pie.
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