American news group CNN says a potential Republican Party candidate most likely to hold the White House at the post-Trump 2028 US presidential election has already been identified by party powerbrokers.

In the wake of the GOP’s disastrous performance at the mid-term elections earlier this month, CNN has identified more than 30 Republican and Democratic identities who could be considered as their parties’ respective presidential candidates. (main picture)

A CNN spokesperson said: “A team of our reporters canvassed influential members of both major parties and found 18 Democrats who could lead their ticket in 2028, including former Californian governor, Gavin Newsom; former Biden cabinet member, Pete Buttigieg; and even former Vice-President and failed 2024 candidate, Kamala Harris.

“Among 13 Republican politicians identified as potential presidential nominees were Vice-President, JD Vance; Secretary of State, Marco Rubio; Health Secretary, Robert Kennedy Junior; and Secretary of Endless Wars, Pete Hegseth.”

The spokesperson said in researching the story CNN reporters determined that Democrats were not yet united behind any specific potential candidate but there existed deep support among Republicans for one particular potential nominee who could best be described as a dark horse in the 2028 race.

“It was genuinely surprising to our reporters that so many Republicans inside and outside of Congress offered up the name of Satan as their preferred presidential nominee,” the spokesperson said. (below)

“Despite not being in elected office at the moment, the Dark Lord was by far their standout pick.

“So many Republicans said that after two terms of Donald Trump, and the disaster he caused at the mid-terms, they were ready to nominate someone like Beelzebub.

“Decision-makers in Republican ranks said that the Prince of Darkness would offer a distinct break from the Trump era and all the baggage that comes with it.

“They said Lucifer was seen as a safer pair of hands than Donald Trump, that he had a far less malignant personality, and he would handle – or even eliminate – manipulative world leaders like Putin and Netanyahu far better than Trump.

“Republicans also told our reporters that they could believe what Satan says far more than the torrent of lies Trump continues to peddle, even though they also recognise that his every word is designed to capture your soul for eternity.

“They all said His Satanic Majesty would be far more acceptable to voters than Donald Trump has ever been.”

The CNN spokesperson said the group’s reporters had more difficulty detecting broad support for any single Republican identity as the party’s 2028 vice-presidential nominee.

“These days the ticket needs to include a vice-presidential candidate who very closely aligns with the presidential nominee,” the spokesperson said.

“But the Republicans our reporters canvassed were split between JD Vance and Pete Hegseth as the 2028 VP nominee because both are so similar to Satan in their personalities, policies, and moral stands that it’s a close run thing to determine which of them would be the better choice.”

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