TOURISM AND BUSINESS:
Mining magnate and serial political party leader and pest, Clive Palmer, says several new attractions will feature in plans for the revamp and reopening of his currently shuttered resort at Coolum on the Sunshine Coast. (below)
Mr Palmer said he was currently assessing plans to refurbish a number of the full-scale dinosaurs that were a feature of the resort in its heyday. (below)
“But I’ll also be installing a few more attractions on the same scale,” Mr Palmer revealed.
“First among them will be a huge statue of Craig Kelly, the ex-Liberal MP who was leader of my United Australia Party at the 2022 federal election. (main picture)
“Most people forget that Craig was prime minister of Australia, as declared by my multi-million-dollar ad campaign. (below)
“But our crooked electoral system denied him the office that was duly his just because he didn’t win his seat and just because no other UAP members were elected. It’s no wonder people were angry then and still are.”
Mr Palmer said his resort redevelopment plans would also include an installation as a tribute to some of his pet projects.
“It will be a totally open field with absolutely nothing on it,” he explained. (below)
“The conceptual artist behind it says it encapsulates all that I have delivered to our national political system.
“The absolute nothingness of the open field also speaks to my other projects. It represents the total extent of my concern for the workers at the Queensland Nickel plant in North Queensland after my disastrous term as its owner, my concern for the health of Australians as expressed by my anti-vax scare campaigns in the COVID emergency, as well as my contribution to sport through my former Gold Coast soccer team.
“But most of all the emptiness of the field evokes my plans to build a replica of the Titanic.
“As you know, that project has sunk without a trace so the open and empty field is a perfect metaphor,” Mr Palmer said.
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