STATE POLITICS:
BRISBANE: State Opposition Leader Steven Miles has been left red-faced in front of an early-morning media throng here after falling “hook, line and sinker” for an LNP prank suggesting a real ramp-up of Crisafulli government laws to bring community youth crime down to practically zero.
“Miles has swallowed the prank “hook, line and sinker,” said one government insider who doesn’t know how to pronounce the Deputy Premier’s surname along with most people. “We cooked up the prank in Bel.. Bej .. Bled… Bjelk… his office and it was as simple as all get out: send an email overnight to Miles, apparently by mistake, announcing that wording to suit the slogan “Offend as a tot; we will let you rot” would be added to the “Breach Bail; Go to Jail” additions already planned to be tacked onto the LNP government’s election winning “Adult Crime; Adult Time” legislation.”
The toughened crime-fighting legislation is up for debate today in the unicameral (one house) state parliament, which is why the cruel prank played out just after daybreak at 5.30am.
“We had our spies stationed outside the Labor Opposition’s room and we heard Miles’s people immediately start ringing around the media,” our LNP insider said.
“Less than 20 minutes later, Miles was out in front of the Parliament fully endorsing the government’s “Offend as a tot; we will let you rot!” legislation!”
The Bug was there of course and Miles, using a hangman’s noose as a prop, declared that while the Opposition fully supported the Crisafulli government’s tough new additions, they did not go far enough and he would be moving an amendment today to change the slogan to “Offend as a tot; you’ll face the drop!”
“Me and my united Labor team see nothing wrong with children as young as five serving mandatory jail terms of up to two years for breaking these new incoming laws, such as not sharing crayons in art playtime or not falling asleep immediately at kip time.
“But kids that young already know what’s right from wrong and for serious offences such as skipping pre-school two days in a row or biting or punching other pre-schoolers, the punishment must fit the crime,” the former Premier declared while jiggling his noose and flashing a toothy smile the media’s way.
It was only when Miles noticed the political journos shaking their heads more than normal at his pathetic attempts to stay as Labor leader by being just as right-wing – or even worse – than the LNP government elected two years ago this month that he twigged he had been had.”
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