EMERGENCY SERVICES:
The NSW Ambulance Service has issued a public appeal for Sydney residents to ring the triple-0 emergency line only in genuine dire emergencies until an ongoing demand for ambulance vehicles and paramedics in Surry Hills has been addressed.
A spokesperson for the service said calls were still coming in to the triple-0 call centre seeking ambulances to transport editorial staff of News Crap Australia to hospital from the company’s Holt Street headquarters – the location of newspapers such as the national broadshit The Australian, turdbloids such as The Daily Telegraph, and Fox News Down Under, the former Sky News also known as News24. (main picture)
“The calls started flooding in soon after the horrendous attack on independent federal MP, Helen Haines,” the spokesperson said.
“At first our paramedics on the scene could not determine the cause of the sudden deterioration in the health of senior Murdoch media Righters.
“But in the days since the attack on Ms Haines, we have determined that the Holt Street editorial offices have been the subject of a massive outbreak of a condition known as RH, or rampant hypocrisy.
“The first indications came when pathologists tested a front page story in the far right national broadshit (below) in which the constantly divisive Murdoch mouthpiece calls for civility in public discourse following the Haines incident.
“We have since received the results of pathology tests on senior Righters such as Peta Credlin, Mark Kenny, and even comedy writer James Morrow which reveal that they and their latest editorial offerings (top to bottom below) are heavily infected with RH by taking their customary anti-Labor stance to blame anything and everything that goes wrong in the nation on the PM and his party.”
“And of course, Righters such as Cardinal Greg Sheridan lay the entire blame for the attack on Ms Haines on the ‘left’ and Greens,” the spokesperson noted. (below)
The ambulance spokesperson said attending paramedics were taken by surprise after finding a handful of News Crap editorial staff who were totally immune to the ill effects of rampant hypocrisy.
“The pathology tests on these individuals showed they were completely resistant to RH, having worked for the Murdoch media for so long, with some of those on the payroll being able to trace their work history way back to the days when Kevin Rudd was PM,” the spokesperson said. (below)
Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!
Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com
