The bitter and twisted, washed-up, hacks who compile this column had a big celebration planned for end-of-day shift tonight (Friday). Their three Bundy rum and coke bar fridges were full and top-up cartons of both stood by for the night’s celebrations.
Yes, BUGgers, you have seen that intro before. Just at the beginning of the month, in fact (link at bottom). Our poor MB and Media Glass House staffers back then had foolishly believed their years’ long campaign to get SMH “subeditors” to know how any edition they are working on was being folioed (numbered) had finally succeeded.
But as you’ve probably guessed, one of the “quality” subeditors at the SMH has overnight (Friday, 9 October) FUBT* by not asking a very basic question as soon as they plopped down their lazy, unprofessional arses for the night shift. Namely: “We’ve got another Hardly Normal wraparound again. Are we still calling our fake cover page in the book page three?
A simple question not asked by a simpleton (we hope we’ve identified above) so no answer was forthcoming.
So take a gander at this and if you want to shed a tear for the once-again shattered compilers of this column, go ahead!
It’s now some years that our campaign has been running to try to educate SMH subs that in the long history of the printed newspaper, page 3 has never, ever …. and you’ve got to trust us on this, okay? … been page 1.
Page one of these wraparound editions remains the first page of that book. The one with the real front page – or cover page – with a masthead that runs all the information associated with, and probably required by law, the real page one … aka cover or front page.
So once again, here is the latest iteration of what, to people with at least average IQs, should make immediate and obvious sense…
And we’ll send down another batch of our magnets to stick on the drinks fridge in the paper’s “subbing” hub!
* FUBT – Fucked Up Big Time
Despite what the image above suggests, this next item while sad enough is not the usual MGH jibe at Rupe’s national, loss-leading broadshit but at the local newsagency near where one of our MGH and Mediocre Bytes compilers lives.
Considering the almost unbelievable wage and conditions packages all of these compilers are on, it’s not unreasonable that they pay for having various mainstream mediocre organs plopped on their footpaths to help in their research. The compiler mentioned above was allocated a long time ago the Saturday edition of The Sydney Morning Herald and The Sun-Herald.
But this morning, his local newsagent really fucked up and lobbed today’s edition of The Australian outside his house. Like most decent Australians, if he ever had to take a crap in the bush, he’d rather wipe his arse with a bunch of noogoora burr leaves than insult it by using a sheet or two from a discarded copy of The Australian spotted in reach!
He has no idea how long today’s The Weekend Australian had been out there, face-up for all to see, before grabbing it but he’s now worried sick about how much damage that delivery mistake may have caused to his property’s valuation.
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