Trump fires up after Capitol Hill win

WASHINGTON DC: US President Donald Trump has fired a raft of senior advisers following the confirmation of controversial White House nominee Todd Blanche as Attorney-General. (below)

“The President was angry – white-hot angry – when news came through that Todd had narrowly got the nod from the Senate to be Attorney-General,” a source within the Trump administration said on condition of anonymity.

“The President hit the roof and started firing people because he believed his nominee had been Blanche, the promiscuous one from the old Golden Girls TV sitcom. (main picture)

“Since news of Todd’s confirmation the President has been stalking the corridors of the West Wing yelling: ‘I wanted the blonde slutty one from Golden Girls! The one with the grabbable pussy.’

“The President has always favoured current or former TV personalities as cabinet members.

“Just think of people like Secretary for Unwinnable Endless Quagmire Wars … oops, I mean Secretary of War, Pete Hegseth, who was a Fox News personality.

“Transportation Secretary, Sean Duffy, is a former reality TV star, and Secretary for Abolishing the Education Department, Linda McMahon, appeared on TV in World Wrestling federation programs.

“Then there’s Dr Mehmet Oz, was a regular guest on Oprah Winfrey’s show and is now in charge of ruining,… err, I mean running the Centres for Medicare and Medicaid Services.

“There are others too, like Kimberley Guilfoyle, now US Ambassador to Greece; Jeannine Pirro, now a rather controversial US Attorney here in DC; former Director of National Intelligence, Tulsi Gabbard; and former FBI Deputy Director, Dan Bongino, who were all ex-Fox News stars or contributors.”

The anonymous White House source said President Trump was now “regrouping” and was planning a major refresh of his cabinet.

“He’s been mulling the idea of replacing some of the deadwood in his cabinet – by that he means non-TV stars – and for starters he’s talking openly about appointing ‘the blonde slutty one with the grabbable pussy’ from Sex and the City to replace Energy Secretary, Chris Wright.

“People have tried to tell him that it’s just a character played by Kim Cattrall, that having ‘sexual energy’ isn’t grounds enough for appointment, and besides she’s a Canadian citizen. But he’s very determined,” the source said.

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