BATHURST: David Farley, says he expects a busy few days following his landslide win in yesterday’s Farrer by-election.

“I’ve got a lot of work to do before being sworn in at the next parliamentary sittings as the first elected One Nation MP in the House of Representatives,” Mr Farley said.

“For a start I need study hard before those sittings so that I’m right across the details of One Nation’s policies.

“That should take me at least half an hour, including a tea break.

“Luckily our leader Pauline Hanson has personally tutored me on One Nation’s immigration policy and I can confidently say I’m right across it now.

“Her tutoring has consisted entirely of me being fitted for a burqa (main picture) which apparently I’m to wear in parliament whenever Pauline sees the need for a factual, detailed, and reasoned public debate on the mass invasion of Australia by drug dealers, rapists, and other criminals who take our jobs and houses,” he said.

Mr Farley said recent One Nation recruit, former National Party leader and deputy prime minister, Barnaby Joyce, had also been tutoring him.

“Barnaby has been giving me special personal demonstrations on how to behave as an MP and deportment lessons for when I take my seat in the House of Representatives.

“Oddly though, in the demos he has not been using a regular chair or seat, but a footpath planter box,” Mr Farley said.

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com