Our Media Glass House researchers were uncharacteristically upbeat this morning soon after starting their pre-dawn shifts at The Bug‘s downtown Brisbane headquarters and at our satellite offices in state capitals and major regional centres around the nation.

The dozens of usually embittered and cynical media analysts who compile this column had, for the first time in many months, broad smiles on their dials and a spring in every step.

What caused this outbreak of unbridled optimism and sheer joy were full-page advisements in the metro turdbloids published by News Crap Australia. (below)

The ads offered hope and assurance on several levels, leading to the significant turnaround in our MGH teams’ usually gloomy outlook on our nation’s future.

The ad spruiked to Murdoch media turdbloid readers the idea of subscribing to the home delivery of the daily fishwrapper in their city.

Not only that, but the ad – in a very unsubtle way – offered readers and would-be subscribers a timely reason to hand over cash to the Murdoch empire, namely to save fuel in the midst of the current global fuel crisis.

Yes indeed, thought our MGH teams on laying eyes on this genius advert, of course it makes sense to have a hard-copy turdbloid thrown onto your front steps rather than having to drive to the local newsagent – or at least where the local newsagent once was before heading to the local corner store or servo – to buy their local daily metro turdbloid.

Of course as a subscriber they would save fuel and money by never again having to make that drive, and indeed so too would every other Aussie who packs our nation’s thoroughfares every morning in their rush to buy a Murdoch turdbloid. (main picture)

No wonder all of our MGH researchers are today in such a happy mood. They are overjoyed that at last someone in our nation is bringing original thinking to solve the great problems we confront.

So they all wish to urge The Bug reader to heed this ad’s advice and subscribe right now to their relevant metro daily turdbloid if they wish to see an end to morning traffic jams while saving time and money every day.

That is, of course, unless they fall within a geographic area where – as the News ad clearly states – home delivery of their newspaper is not offered because it’s too fucking dear to chuck one on the front lawn of the only person in a postcode wanting to read the shit inside.

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Our MGH teams have some free advice to the folks at The Guardian AUSTRALIA!.

Our reader may note that for the purposes of this item the word “Australia” is in bold caps with an exclamation mark (!) for emphasis.

It’s there because of this item appearing on The Guardian AUSTRALIA! website.

The advice from our MGH researchers is simple as well as being free, namely: FFS don’t use the word “Mom” in an Australian news story unless it’s in a direct quote from a Yank. (below)

The story was sourced from a US-based Associated Press story but clearly nobody Down Under ran an eye over it before it was uploaded, perhaps by someone with the initials A and I?

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Speaking of The Guardian, this pointer (below) appears at the moment in its fashion and beauty section of its website’s home page.

Our MGH researchers have their own advice on how to pull off leather trousers.

They wish to tell anyone – no matter their age, gender, height, or body shape –  who is currently wearing leather trousers that they should immediately pull them off and never put them on again.

Just quietly, you look ridiculous in them.

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