… but has Aunty been left on the launch pad?

The column that has fun with the smaller mistakes and missteps of Australia’s mainstream mediocre; that pays homage to those sweet little fishes that individually don’t amount to a full meal but collectively can cause a tummy upset over the overall state of the once great and noble craft of journalism in this country.

The subject of this little piece of fun-poking at our national broadcaster first took off (sorry!) more than 24 hours ago – about 7am Queensland time on Good Friday in fact.

Our MB compilers to a man, woman and fridge restocker all shouted “bloody hell, that was fast!” to the segment on ABC’s News Breakfast that declared Artemis 2 was now in orbit and to their rum-soaked brains, they all thought it meant it was already orbiting the moon.

Of course they might all be dreadful drunks but even as bitter and twisted, washed-up old hacks, they can still apply the solid principles of good journalism that have stubbornly remained in what’s left of their battered braincells. Which is why they undertook a quick bit of research to discover that the personned mission to the dark side of the moon had in fact orbited earth a few times as the four astronauts checked equipment over and several began to worry about whether it was a good idea that NASA still relied on Microsoft’s Millennium Edition to run things.

But did that mean Aunty had the yarn right or perhaps could we launch (sorry!) a bit of criticism their way. Maybe even put a rocket (sorry!) up her dear old arse. So our compilers went immediately to their mate AI and found this!

Well away from orbiting earth then! MB saw the need to be tolerant and given it was Good Friday and we all know Aunty survives on a dental-floss budget anyway because they can’t afford shoe string, we thought we’d cancel it as a MB possibility. At least Weekend Breakfast would have an up-to-date report on the first space mission to the moon in 50 years!

But what’s this!

The Artemis crew are leaving orbit AGAIN! Surely this time it must be the moon we’re talking about? And what a scoop! Did they find the dark side of the moon boring and have decided to push on and have a look at Mars? Well, actually, no!

They’ve finally just left earth’s orbit – AGAIN!- after fixing a few technical issues, including the lock on their dunny not working properly.

It might be Easter and the ABC’s news room might be on more than its regular skeleton staff levels, but talk about hearing yesterday’s stale news, maybe not quite tomorrow, but bad enough anyway and even staler than before!

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