Missile strike injures ABC TV star

WHATHEFUCK:

SYDNEY: Israel has denied it was behind two missile attacks on Australian soil this morning one of which saw popular ABC TV’s Gardening Australia host, Costa Georgiadis, admitted to hospital with severe wounds.

The two missile attacks followed closely on the overnight bombing by the Israeli Defence Force (IDF) of a building in Qatar where Israel alleged Hamas terrorists were meeting.

A spokesperson for Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu denied the Israeli Government was engaged in indiscriminate attacks on sovereign foreign nations in addition to its ongoing genocidal campaigns in Gaza and the West Bank.

“We will root out Hamas wherever we find them,” the spokesperson said. “Our intelligence agencies such as Mossad are the best in the world and we will not hesitate to launch strikes to eliminate Hamas terrorists as soon as we have even a skerrick of evidence that they are operating anywhere on earth.

“Of course, that’s not an admission that the IDF is responsible for the two Sydney missile strikes.”

An ABC spokesperson said Georgiadis was hit by a missile while filming a Gardening Australia segment on humus and its benefits in domestic gardens. (main picture)

“Costa sustained severe injuries and was rushed to the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital where he underwent surgery and is now resting comfortably,” the spokesperson said.

“Luckily his beard largely insulated him from the blast and the resultant fire caused by the missile hit otherwise his injuries would have been much worse.”

NSW Police said at about the same time as the ABC star was injured, a second missile hit a Middle Eastern delicateness in the western Sydney suburb of Lakemba.

“It appears that the missile was targeted at the Hummus R Us deli,” a police spokesperson said. (below)

“But luckily the shop hadn’t yet opened for business so nobody was hurt.”

When advised of the lack of fatalities in the two Sydney attacks, Mr Netanyahu’s spokesperson said: “Damn!”

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com