FOURTH ESTATE NEWS:

A bitter internal war has broken out among Australian Broadcasting Corporation journalists following intellectual property moves by Patricia Karvelas that colleagues have described as “opportunistic and unfair”.

The Bug can confirm that the growing anger among Karvelas’ workmates has been sparked by her decision to register the business names But Angus Taylor Says, But Sussan Ley Says and But Dan Tehnan Says and has applied to have all three trademarked.

It is understood Karvelas felt the need to strike early and cast a wide net before the new Opposition Leader is even elected but other ABC colleagues believe her moves will greatly diminish their chances of doing their job properly and impressing corporation heads.

One who asked not to be named but looked a lot like Greg Jennett told The Bug: “Management has yet to do it but we’re all expecting soon to get the directive that in order for the corporation to continue its commitment to fair and balanced reporting, the LNP and its leader, as underdogs now that Australian voters have twice made the mistake of installing a Labor government which is really, really unfair, will need to be given more than their fair share of media exposure on any issue, just like the last three years.

“How the hell are we expected to do that if we can’t face a camera and say But Angus Taylor Says, But Sussan Ley Says and But Dan Tehnan Says!”

Another ABC staffer who also asked not to be named but looked a lot like Jane Norman added: “There’s even a rumour going around that in the interests of the ABC always staying true to its remit for fair and balanced reporting, PK will allow us to also use those phrases but we’ll have to pay her royalties!

“That’s just being greedy.”

Someone who looked a lot like David Speers but also asked not to be named weighed in with: “The natural parties of government deserve a fair shake.

“That’s why my Insiders panel will again be top-heavy with Newscorp scribes, given their rock-solid reputation for their fair and balanced observations. That’s all I want to say on that matter!”

The Bug tried to contact Patricia Karvelas for comment but she was back up at the business names registry applying for But Tim Wilson Says and But Keith Wolahan Says just in case.

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