Know what the very worse thing has been about those 18 gold medals we’ve won at the Paris Olympics?

It’s that fucking dreadful Union Jack that dominates OUR flag as it’s waved about or draped over the shoulders of our champions.

We really need to get rid of that cunt of a thing, which is why I’m urging my Bug reader to join with me in my campaign suitably titled LET’S JUNK THE JACK!

And that’s coming from a self confessed Anglophile ( I’m even a bit keener on Scotland) and the son of a Pommy. But enough is enough!

I think it’s great that the English were our white colonists. It’s meant I’ve been able to watch Hollywood movies for seven decades without the need for sub-titles.

But having that fucking Union Jack dominating MY flag in the amazing multicultural society we have become has left me cold for as long as I can remember. It’s almost a pathological hatred.

Now I understand that there are monarchists amongst us who basically wet their pants at the sight of the Union Jack dominating our flag – a big shout out to Tony Abbott and David Flint here – but it’s time for patriotic and proud Australians to grow the fuck up and JUNK THE JACK!

Take a look at these photos of ramp ceremonies for our fallen Diggers.

If the likes of Abbott and Flint think our existing flag design is all fine and dandy and perfectly fit for purpose for such sad and tragic occasions, then they are unpatriotic and un-Australian for mine.

And don’t get me started on the many Ashes Tests I’ve watched at the Gabba where drunken yobbos have run around the ground with what appears to be nothing but the Union Jack draped around their shoulders.

So what to do? And will we ever get enough consensus among Australians should it come to a vote on a new design, such as New Zealand tried and failed to achieve some eight years ago.

For mine, the simplest solution is just to ditch the Union Jack. JUNK THE JACK!

Personally, I’d go for the Eureka flag, although it might not be available.

Has there ever been a better symbol of our supposedly classless society and our natural distrust of authority? But, see, therein lies the danger of too many opposing ideas that muddy the waters and allow for the status quo to reign supreme for ever and a day.

We need to think wisely here if our wonderful Australian athletes in Brisbane in 2032 are going to drape themselves in a truly Australian flag.

Other ideas? The boxing kangaroo to highlight our sporting process? We’re third in Paris, for fuck’s sake. Let’s honour that, maybe! But it might not be available either.

Or should we mimic Canada and go floral with a sprig of wattle? We deserve to be red-faced over the fact that Canada switched to the maple leaf many decades ago.

Or, as mentioned above, something else that is clearly and distinctively Australian?

Yes? No? This design was offered some time ago by John Bartholomew. Or we could just purloin the tail of a Qantas plane if Alan Joyce hasn’t damaged that brand too much?

Or perhaps this?

You may have noticed I’ve shied away completely from anything with an Aboriginal flavour for here’s the truth of the matter. The Voice referendum showed what a dreadfully racist country we are.

It means any flag redesign that basically tells us our first nation’s people have lived here under the Southern Cross for maybe 60,000 years would be doomed for failure.

I’m immensely proud of our First Nations history as the world’s oldest continuous civilisation but, even so, I wouldn’t vote for any such design and I’d like to think there’s not a racist bone in my body even though there could possibly be quite a few.

Don Gordon-Brown

TO BE CONTINUED:

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