Murdoch jettisons private plane

MEDIA NEWS:

US media mogul Rupert Murdoch has abandoned plans to fly to Australia from New York on his News Crap International private jet.

A News Crap Australia spokesperson said Mr Murdoch had been planning a flying visit on his private jet LNP Won (main picture) to oversee the sacking of several of his turdbloid editors for not being sufficiently right-wing.

“But The Courier-Mail’s recent stories on the use of private jets by Queensland Premier Steven Miles and his Police Minister and Commissioner has forced Mr Murdoch to change his plans or else face charges of hypocrisy over the cost to shareholders and the plane’s carbon emissions,” the spokesperson said.

“Believe me he is not happy about it, so if [Courier-Mail editor] Chris Jones thought he was sucking up to Rupert by stepping up the paper’s blatant anti-Labor stories in an election year, it may well have backfired on him.”

The spokesperson said after decades of flying on a private jet Mr Murdoch was completely unaccustomed to using commercial flights.

For instance, he said, when Mr Murdoch made the decision against flying to Australia on LNP Won, he thought he would be sitting in row 92 of a commercial flight because he was under the misapprehension that seats were ranked by a passenger’s age.

The spokesperson said until his mistaken belief was explained to him, Mr Murdoch had expressed his displeasure and disappointment at the possibility of sitting in row 92 because he would have preferred anywhere in rows 62 to 67 so that he could “pick up chicks”.

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