The Bug’s ranter-in-residence pens an open letter of thanks to Bruce Lehrmann.
Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce! The nation owes you an almost unmeasurable amount of gratitude – and one helluva grovelling apology from many of us for ever doubting you – for putting us straight the other night as to what a disgusting, manipulative, evil piece of work Brittany Higgins is.
Our thanks also go to Channel 7’s Spotlight program and the unparalleled forensic investigative abilities of arguably this nation’s finest journalist – Liam Bartlett – to provide the platform for you to explain why this wretched excuse for humanity has cried rape when nothing at all happened; a cruel and groundless accusation that has left a life that held so much hope permanently ruined.
You laid out the events of that March night in 2019 perfectly as only a true gentleman can and may I just say that every explanation for how that night unfolded made perfect sense, mate – the three reasons you gave for entering the building were all spot on and valid – given time, you probably could have provided more; the urgent need to get your house keys even though your loving girlfriend was at home, worried sick about you and ready to open the front door with loving arms; the totally believable fact that both you and Higgins both decided after hours on the piss there was crucial, urgent, work to be done there; why you rushed out thinking Higgins – and neither of you were the boss of the other so there was no real duty of care here! – was still beavering away, so to speak – but it’s your clinical clear-headed assessment of why Higgins cooked up this rape claim afterwards to viciously set you up, to callously bring you down that made so, so, so much sense.
There you were, immediately sacked for breaking the rules by entering the parliament building without proper cause early on that Saturday morning, and Higgins must surely have known she was in for the high jump when it was her turn to face the boss a few hours later.
She must have breathed a sigh of relief when she wasn’t sent packing herself – a cynic might think that in her seniors’ minds she perhaps already had something over them? – but you’ve clearly and succinctly explained how her evil, despicable thought patterns emerged – festered, I say! – over the next week or so before she finally made her totally fabricated rape claim known to save her own wretched skin.
And the utter prescience of the she-devil! The total, sickening, malice of forethought! What a lying cow in, oh, so many ways!
To have foreseen the trouble she was going to be in and to spend hours beforehand, setting the scene by guzzling drinks in a couple of Canberra watering holes in that white cocktail dress with her tits hanging out and then, later, to take off all her clothes and lie on that couch in an apparently discombobulated and drunken state for hours waiting for security to find her in such a wretched state, speaks volumes of her cunning and her manipulative genius.
She laid herself bare to lay out the perfect case against you later when such a need arose!
That is utter, utter, evil, Bruce! Rat-cunning planning that is sickening in its depravity, really.
So, mate, I believe the nation is with you on this one. I certainly am. Restore your reputation. And your self-respect! We’re 100 per cent behind you if Stokesy wants to fund a defamation action. because we know you’re pretty skint and what Channel 7 may have paid you won’t last forever.
Sue the bitch, we say! Do not let her get away with what she’s done to you! Ditto for that ACT prosecutor who brought the charge in the first place despite the absolute paucity of evidence! And who had the temerity to declare publicly that he still thought a conviction was possible, despite clearly having heard that ACT chief copper put the trial jury vote at 11-1 for an acquittal!
Go for it! For you are, sir, one of the few true gentlemen left in this crazy, disturbed world of ours.
Sadly, there are far, far, too many men in Australia – ungentlemanly men, some even with existing girlfriends – who would have given Brittany Higgins one that night. Well, at least tried it on.
Don Gordon-Brown
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