THE MEDIA:

Media mogul Rupert Murdoch has issued an unprecedented apology for his and News Crap Australia’s support of former prime minister Scott Morrison.

Readers of the Murdoch-owned national broadshit The Australian said they were both stunned and pleasantly surprised to read Mr Murdoch’s front-page apology and his call for all Australians to forgive him for his past backing of Mr Morrison.

The Australian story quoted Mr Murdoch as saying that recent revelations of Mr Morrison’s secret manoeuvrings to assume ministerial responsibility for a range of portfolios had been “the straw that broke the camel’s back” when it came to deciding to issue a formal apology.

“I admit that I made it plain to all my editors prior to the 2019 federal election campaign that they should independently reach the conclusion to support Scott Morrison and the Liberals in the lead-up to the 2019 election,” Mr Murdoch admitted.

“I also admit that I did the same for the 2022 election. I made it plain that Anthony Albanese and the Labor Party should be pilloried mercilessly but that Scott Morrison and the Liberals should be blindly supported no matter fucked-up stupid bullshit things they said or promised.

“I admit and apologise for my and my company’s blatant, commercially motivated, baseless, and erroneous past editorial support for a party leader, a party, and a government that I now recognise will probably be judged by history as the worst Australia has ever had to endure.”

The Bug spoke to a range of readers of The Australian who said they initially could not believe what they were reading when the opened their paper this morning.

Typical was Arnold Snerd of Brisbane (pictured) who said he was “totally shocked” that Mr Murdoch would make his admissions, express his regret, and apologise for past support of Mr Morison and the Liberals.

“I really was stunned at first, but then my feelings changed and I became rather more, shall we say, pleasantly surprised that Rupert would do such a thing,” Mr Snerd said.

“For a moment I felt that, yes, there is some good in the world, even in Rupert Murdoch’s heart.

“But then my feelings changed yet again when I started hearing this bell constantly ringing and ringing.

“I realised it was my alarm clock going off and when I woke up I realised it had all been a dream and that the mendacious, dishonourable, money-grubbing, self-obsessed, oleaginous prick hadn’t changed his outlook or behaviour at all.

“I mean just look at all those far-right nutbags on Sky News ‘after dark’ and, worst of all, consider Rupert’s track record backing Donald Trump in the US and his Fox News network’s ongoing support for him and those who would destroy democracy.

“If the crusty, wrinkled-arsed old coot survives until 2025 he’ll do exactly the same again and campaign for the Liberals through all his News Crap outlets. You can bet on it – probably using News Crap Australia’s planned new online betting business,” Mr Snerd said.