Coorey blimey! Bin the bastard, please!


Would respected smartbod and science nerd Karl Kruszelnicki ever be invited back onto ABC shows if he repeatedly said two plus two equals seven or that the moon was definitely made of cheese?

Would Nate Byrne still be presenting weather on News Breakfast if he swore, hand on waistcoat-hidden heart on any given Wednesday, that rain wasn’t wet and that Brisbane’s August westerlies were caused by the vacuum the Ekka ferris wheel creates as it goes around and around?

Of course not! So why the fuck, The Bug‘s MGH respectfully asks, is The Australian Financial Review’s Phillip Coorey invited onto any panel – any fucking where – to commentate on politics given the totally stupid, totally unbelievable things he tried to peddle during the last federal election? He’s pictured above on the ABC Insiders program last Sunday.

It’s a complete mystery why shows like #Insiders invite Coorey on. This is the RWNJ who, presumably, for bullshit right-leaning motives, repeatedly tried to tell us that if the polls were anywhere near right and Labor and the LNP were more or less equal in primary votes, then a disastrous hung parliament was inevitable. Hint people: voting LNP is your only hope to avoid chaos!!! Vote LNP for stability and good, strong, ongoing, economic management!

Any tyro politics scribe who went to the nation’s capital and spoke such nonsense in a pub near Parliament House would be firstly laughed at and then booted out of the joint by the media pack. Well, the remaining good ones anyway.

Any new student walking into a #politics101 class would probably already have known that as the 2022 federal election loomed with Labor in most polls ahead on primaries and with a large 12 to 14 per cent Greens vote, a landslide was inevitable on those figures. Proof of that? Labor won outright anyway, with a primary vote three points below what the final Newspoll suggested.

But Phillip Coorey saw none of that through the far right of his one good eye, the right one.

The MGH believes this clown should not be let near a high school to give a talk to a civics class, let alone have his smug nose powdered and ushered into a room, blue green or any other colour, and then given any MSM platform to peddle his shitfuckery.

We all know Coorey came out of the womb blue and stayed that way. If he can’t help himself, so be it.

All that means – and this really is the bottom line – is that Coorey has two choices – and neither makes him either worth listening to or reading. He either knows fuck all about the fundamentals of politics and can’t read the simplest of political numbers and poll trends during an election, or he ignores our federal compulsory preferential voting system completely and deliberately peddles bullshit to favour his beloved far-right of Australian politics.

There’s a wide and tragic gulf between being a journalist or an LNP public relations apologist. He is shamed either way.

Coorey is either a shit journalist who failed basic maths at school or a sinister, manipulative propagandist pushing RWNJ theories. The MGH sadly suspects more of the later, because surely he still possesses more brain cells than his forehead has hairs.

So we finish with a plea to the producers at #insiders or any other politics program anywhere, any time, in this wide brown land of ours.

Keep the wacko off our TV screens for fuck’s sake. Restrict him to the AFR where the MGH suspects even the largely rightwing bizoids he rights … sorry … writes for …. don’t believe much of the risible rubbish he comes out with either.

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Speaking of Insiders, here’s our prediction tomorrow for the little video clip David Speers often plays at the end of each Sunday show.

During the week’s parliamentary sittings, the Deputy Speaker pulled up Angus Taylor for repeatedly calling her “Mister Speaker”. That’s right. As you can clearly see above, the Deputy Speaker in the chair clearly is ineligible to join a certain big swinging club if it still exists at the House.

“Sorry!” said Taylor, before carrying on with his speech and using “Mister Speaker” four more times.

If Speers doesn’t run with the video of that and uses something else, it will mean there’s someone else in Australian politics even more stupid than Angus Taylor, hard as that might be to believe.