Poll blow for Sharma

Dave Sharma’s hopes of retaining his Sydney-based seat of Wentworth at the looming federal poll have taken a major blow – he has failed in his bid to change his surname to Spender-Independent.

The Liberal Member for the seat once held by Malcolm Turnbull is said to be devastated when he discovered a cooling-off period for name changes on the NSW government website meant his new name could not be registered in time for the expected May 21 poll.

Sharma, the man touted by many of his supporters as a likely future, long-term, Liberal Prime Minister, holds the seat on a wafer-thin margin of 1.3 per cent. Almost all polls show Labor’s vote across NSW has increased significantly since the 2019 poll and to have his new hyphenated surname, Spender-Independent, on ballot papers and campaign material would have been an enormous fillip to his reelection chances.

“It’s my own fault in a way,” Sharma told The Bug. “I’ve been so busy on my computer checking to see if there might be some low-lifes among my parliamentary colleagues who might be tempted to engage in some disgusting insider trading on hasty government decisions that are going to be made public in the dying weeks of this current Morrison government that I completely misjudged how long a name-change application takes.

“There’s no way now I can have my new name ready on time, and especially on ballot papers.”

The federal PM admitted that not changing his surname in time was a major blow to his campaign but added stoically: “All’s not lost yet”.

“I’ve totally removed any visual evidence on my pre-pre-election material of my connection to the Liber… to the party I’m a member of, including the party’s logo.

“And because I’ve always been a colour blue spectrum kind of guy, I’ve found a really nice bluish colour for all that political material, be it pamphlets or corflutes and the like.

“I sometimes think the deep blue Libe…the deep blue that I’ve used in the past is a bit harsh on the eye and I quite like the new colour. It’s called teal, I believe.”

Editor’s note: Graphic courtesy of a tweet by maria kedar @rosebay and the pisstake above inspired by her tweet and many others on the subject. It does beg the question, does it not, Buggers? Why the fuck would anyone want to vote for someone too embarrassed by his own party’s performance in government to openly mention it even though you’ve supported 99.9 per cent of every rotten, useless, corrupt thing they’ve done and only crossed the floor once late in the life of the parliament in a pathetic attempt to save your scrawny political arse, let alone a grub who steals an opponent’s campaigning colour? Desperate, deceptive and devious behavior from someone lacking any semblance of class or style, The Bug reckons.