Dry those widdle tears, PM

So, our snivelling sook of a prime minister thinks the Nine Entertainment Co media outlets are too harsh on him.

He’s bleating that some of the journalists at those naughty Nine outlets aren’t treating him fairly, like the balanced, professional scribes across the various NewsCorp Australia platforms always do.

A grumpy Scott Morrison reportedly told Nine’s chief executive Mike Sneesby in Canberra a few days back that some of his newspapers’ columnists are too hard on him.

Nine owns The Sydney Morning Herald, The Age and the Australian Financial Review since buying the Fairfax media company in 2018.

Your one-eyed ranter simply wonders whether the grumpy PM has any capacity at all to take the good with the bad, or is bullying to get the best political advantage he can muster from an already largely compliant MSM just second nature to the prick?

To explain further, let’s assume he caught Channel Nine’s political editor Chris Uhlmann’s report last Sunday night.

Uhlmann basically compared the pair: Morrison on Mount Panorama mixing photo ops with testing out some campaign lines and Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese further east in Sydney conducting a faux election campaign launch in a faux election campaign.

Surely Morrison would have heard this rather childish “nar, na, nar, nar …. nah” from Uhlmann early on in his report, opining that “Labor hailed its contender who clearly wasn’t watching Bathurst!”

And why? Because Albanese talked of “a PM whose tank is on empty”.

Memo: Chris Uhlmann. Albanese was using a metaphor! And while there might have been a full tank in the Ford Mustang safety car at the Bathurst 1000 it wasn’t our PM full of high-octane fuel. Comprende?

Did our grumpy wumpy PM wipe away some of those hard-done-by tears on hearing that piece of lopsided nonsense from Uhlmann that I reckon a first-year TV news cadet would have sensibly steered clear of before their first to-camera practice piece?

Not quite? Well, how about when Uhlmann described the PM as a “formidable campaigner”?

Did the PM puff out his chesty westy just a little bit and grab a Xmas decoration and call for his personal photographer? And phone Peter Costello for a catch-up and to say a big thank-you?

The PM’s lips must surely have stopped trembly-wembling when he heard Uhlmann explain that Albanese “has a few short months to define himself” and that “he wants to turn perceived weaknesses into strengths”.

Sadly, time restraints on 9’s Sunday night 6pm news prevented Uhlmann from running through some of the perceived weaknessess of a man whose party has been leading in Newspoll for quite some time by six to eight percent two-party-preferred.

I have no doubt whatsoever that if we could pump Uhlmann full of truth serum and hand him a microphone in front of 100 undecided voters, he could expand for hours non-stop about why those weaknesses are more than just perceived ones and why Australia desperately needs to return Morrison as PM and the LNP to a much-deserved fourth term despite some minor, pardonable, missteps in office.

Would that make the liddle, widdle, terribly-hard-done-by PM just a widdle bit happier about his lot?

Enough, maybe, to order ComCar1 around and head off to Bunnings for another flat-pack project to rewarm the hearts of a nation courtesy of a brown-nosing, compliant, subservient mainstream media? And, sadly, that includes you too, Aunty.

A mainstream media that largely thinks that hooning around a racetrack, kicking a football, downing a schooner, giving a thumbs up from a cockpit or a truck window, making some pasta, throwing a haybale off a trailer or getting a haircut not only show a master campaigner/marketeer at work but is riveting prime-time news as well.

Don Gordon-Brown