Smoko’s halfa points to early poll


Veteran Canberra political observers are looking at Prime Minister Scott Morrision’s trousers for any signs that could point to an early federal election.

Speculation was rife a week ago that an October poll was firming as a real possibility and more than one seasoned press corp observer thought they saw a halfa pressing against the fabric at the front of the bottom half of the PM’s very expensive, bespoke, all-woollen business suit.

This followed widespread speculation among large sections of the media that Mr Morrison now has a rock-hard belief that the electorate is rapidly tiring of lockdowns and his strident call for the nation to come out of its cave will divide the states and open up the way to a resounding poll win and a well-earned full second term.

While the October poll – first mooted in a humour piece by Crikey’s Charlie Lewis (pictured) a week ago – has rapidly faded, the mainstream media are now poll-pushing the idea of a premature November election.

After Crikey’s article, online bookies dropped the odds of an October poll from 6-1 to 4-1, proving there is one born every minute.

SportsBet this morning has a November poll at $5.50 – still fruit for the sideboard for them – although all the lower odds are in the New Year and closer to the May cutoff for the election.

“When I saw the PM walk into Parliament this morning, I’m pretty sure that halfa had blown out to a full mongrel,” Niki Savva told The Bug.

“Okay, I’m not saying it looked like a bulldog without legs trying to burst through there but it looked fine to me.

“He’s looking pretty cocky; that’s all I’ll say.

“Besides, in politics there’s only one pole that counts.

“And while I’m not a betting woman I think Mr Morrison will feel pretty stiffed if his plans for an early poll slip out of his hands.”

Ms Savva started to say something else but then said: “Nope …. that’s all I’ve got.”