Aunty Pauline’s gospel clinches award

It’s common knowledge that Pauline Hanson is at least one spud short of a cod-and-large chips takeaway.

But we should never forget that while her one brain cell might not have another to rub against, it possesses the cunning of a thousand shit-house rats on steroids when it comes to keeping a highly paid job on the public teat.

Everything about this woman – her regular public fractured-English utterances (she makes Scott Morrison look oratorial), her arrant stupidity and never-ending nervousness when talking in Parliament or to the media – is designed to appeal to her equally brain-deprived base. By her averageness, she becomes – or remains – one of them.

It’s why anyone who thinks her recent laughable “my birthday was yesterday; no it wasn’t… it was last week” performance in the Senate has damaged the rabid, far right-wing red-head’s image or political clout are being almost as silly as she is.

She’s also rabidly racist while forever declaring there’s not a racist bone in her body. For her companion-deprived brain cell to think that, she clearly sees nothing wrong with shouting “White Lives Matter!” or “All Lives Matter” in response to the #blacklivesmatter movement trying to overcome historic, obvious and tragic wrongdoings against a suppressed and victimised people.

Or to call herself an indigenous Australian. The original Aunty Pauline. Or to appear in the Senate in a burqa, with no other purpose than to stir up her red-neck base and appeal once more to its racist and xenophoebic hatreds and fears. Could someone please explain that to her!

And with that summary of the woman who in so many ways is Johannas “I’ve got nothing against Abos but would you want one living next door to you?” Bjelke-Petersen in a frock, The Bug now announces The Courier-Mail of last Saturday at its Media Glass House’s Arselicker of the month of June award.

At top is the front-page treatment the paper gave Hanson and the four inside pages devoted to her “gospel”. The Bug couldn’t even stomach to look at the main feature in that day’s Qweekend magazine that all those other pages proudly pointed to.

So, how does a ratbag of a racist, ignorant woman whose eponymous party garners about 3 per cent of the national vote in polls and whose electoral fortunes have been very much on the wane in recent times deserve such exposure from the Brisbane monopoly metropolitan daily?

Well, for starters, The Courier-Mail is just about as right-wing as Hanson is. Along with its sister Sunday, The Courier’s main job at the moment is to get Scott Morrison reelected, preferably sooner than later.

Come election time as Hanson’s band of walking braindead supporters shuffle, hands outstretched and their tin-foil hats and antennas abuzz, towards polling booths, they’ll once again be putting Labor last.

So the Courier is happy to give Hanson exposure that money can’t buy to improve her vote.

And, of course, in the process she gets to explain how poor “two-way” Albanese is simply not prime-ministerial material and yet somehow Peter Dutton is and will one day be PM.

A newspaper supposedly “for you” Queenslanders also gives her plenty of space to sprout her anti-vaccination nonsense.

Just think about the enormity of that. Queensland’s economic recovery is totally dependent on getting its citizens fully vaccinated to put COVID-19 in its box once and for all so businesses can rebound and jobs can return, Sunshine State folk can go abroad again and the state can welcome cashed-up OS visitors sooner than later.

Yet The Courier-Mail happily promotes someone whose views seem totally opposed to that happening. That’s one helluva arselicking achievement.

Ms Hanson’s bottom is squeaky clean, as is the scrawny arse of an ethically bereft, money-hungry, criminally inclined octogenarian New Yorker whose Australian newspapers continue by their efforts to ensure he has no need whatsoever for toilet paper himself.