Would I lie to you?

For just a little while there, my dear Buggers, I saw myself as a rather powerful political force that might – just might – have swayed the outcome of the next federal election, seen Smoko off and saved Australia by giving young people some hope in the democratic process.

And for someone with an almost pathological hatred of everything that lying, conniving, far-right religious fruitcake Scott Morrison stands for, it felt good. Very good indeed.

And it all was all based on the fact that I had extracted from the leader of an emerging political party a commitment that they would put Scott Morrison and his pitiful LNP government stone motherless last come the next federal election.

Let me explain how this came about.

Anyone know anything about this new political party called The New Liberals?

Its leader Victor Kline often says things on Twitter that almost match my pathological hatred for Smoko and every rotten thing his band of bloated boofheads, bores, braggarts, bullies and now Barnaby once more stands for, have done and plan to do.

I’ve checked the party online and it does seem to espouse policies for Australia’s future that might just stop poor old Bob Menzies spinning in his grave over what his Liberal Party has become under the likes of the Lying Rodent, the Mad Monk, The Fizza and the Liar from the Shire.

My interest had been piqued because Victor tweeted me a week or so ago with a personal iron-clad – no, I don’t know if it’s pig-iron – guarantee that The New Liberals would put Morrison’s Coalition stone-motherless last on ballot papers at the next federal election.

I know, I know! Little old ranter me – extracting a promise from the leader of any party – big or small – that could change the outcome of the next poll! I’m humbled. And honoured.

Or at least that’s how I felt a little while ago as I went searching for the relevant tweets for this rant.

Here’s the first exchange between Victor and me at least.

The reason I’m now rather deflated is it looks as if Victor has deleted his tweeted replyt that gave that commitment on putting the LNP last.

It was short and sharp and said something like “we’re doing that!” It’s now also ominously missing from my twitter feed – and Victor’s.

I appreciate Victor’s promise was not a stat. dec. or had any legal standing whatsoever but if it’s the best you can extract from the leader of a political party, I readily took it.

His promise evoked a few immediate and exciting questions: how many lower-house government seats do The New Liberals plan to contest at this next election (they’ve promised not to contest Labor-held seats) and how effective will they be on the hustings. By that, will they have some real cash to spend or at the very least active work by members on the ground.

For make no mistake, this ranter with the pathological hatred of Smoko and his mob would have been absolutely delighted if Victor’s party sloughed just a few per cent of disgruntled Liberal voters to his cause, provided of course he had kept his promise and those voters stick to his how-to-vote cards. He would have been welcome to some disgruntled Labor voters too, presuming the bulk of their vote would also have returned home.

In some ways, I don’t blame Victor for deleting his tweet if that’s what he’s done. Maybe he got roused at by others on his national executive. Maybe Victor is already more of a politician than he thinks he isn’t.

A week is a long time in politics and a promise to put the LNP stone-motherless last to a fucking nobody like me was perhaps rather naive. In his excitement to please me, Victor maybe forgot about One Nation?

And The New Liberals favouring Labor would be looking pretty silly if, on the hustings, Clive Palmer went with a $90 million plus yellow-an-black advertising campaign proving Anthony Albanese and his ALP members are alien lizard paedophiles who eat children!

Still, the pressure remains on Victor and his fellow party members. The deeper, hidden, message behind my words to him the other week was fairly simple and based on sad observations over a long time: “I bet The New Liberals are really deep down just another Tory mob that, when the crunch comes to crunch, will protect their own”.

“Prove me wrong!” was my subliminal hope.

Kline’s apparent retraction of his promise to little old ranter me doesn’t look good but there’s still time for him and his party to put their preferences where their powerfully stated policies and principles supposedly are.

Because nothing in their commendable manifesto suggests they’d have anything to do with The Stinking Corrupt Trickle Down Fuck the Workers Farm Out As Much As We Can To Our Privateer Mates Cover Up Rapes Old Liberals. And while it’s The New Liberals’ job to denigrate both major parties to garner votes, their policies sound a bloody hell lot closer to Labor’s.

So let us know when you’re ready to declare where you and the NLP really stand, Victor.

If one thing and one thing alone – the Morrison government’s shameful, illegal and very deadly Robodebt disaster, persisted with long after they knew it was illegal – isn’t enough for The New Liberals to at the very least put the LNP after Labor on their how-to-votes, then they really are just another pissant political party with easily compromised principles.

Don Gordon-Brown